Now or Never
by Dagnabit
Summary: Ten months have passed since the interrogation room kiss and Gail chose not to pursue a relationship with Holly, a decision she has lived to regret ever since. (Rated M from Ch.7 onwards)
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**A/N: Hi everyone. This is my first foray into the world of fanfiction writing ever! I'm a little nervous. This first chapter is unbeta'd. If anyone is interested in beta'ing for me feel free to send me a PM**

**Now or Never**

**Chapter One **

Gail rolled her eyes at the vomit inducing display taking place in front of her. Her gag reflex is being seriously tested. She can hear the rumblings of conversations going on around her but she isn't engaging in them. How can she when she has to watch this disgusting display?

Gail swallows down the bile building In the back of her throat as she watches _her_ arm slither around the back of Holly's shoulders possessively, pulling her close. Gail's gaze flits way from them quickly but not as quickly as she'd hoped as she catches sight of the smug grin being aimed at her from across the table.

Not one to be beaten Gail glares back with her gaze steely and determined, her eyes boring into the grey ones that stare back. The blonde's stomach lurches as pale lips press against Holly's temple causing the brunette to turn from her conversation briefly and smile sweetly at _her._

_Joanne._

_Gail hates her_. Hates her with every fibre of her being. She hates her stupid fake smile. She hates the fact that she's so tall and therefore towers over the blonde making her feel inferior. She hates that Joanne only ever talks about herself. She hates that Joanne never asks Holly about her day. She hates that Joanne never takes Holly on dates. The brunette had mentioned it once in passing to Gail but tried to brush it off as no big deal when she saw the look of shock on the blonde's face but Gail knows that it is a big deal. Holly is an incredible women, she deserves to be wined and dined. Holly deserves to be with someone that will spend hours getting ready before a date with her, a date that had been planned down to the finest detail ensuring that the brunette has the time of her life.

Holly deserves the best and Joanne, Joanne isn't the best and Gail hates her for that.

Gail hates that Joanne is the one that gets to take Holly out on dates, at least she should be but clearly she can't be bothered, she always has more important things to do. Nothing is more important than Holly. She hates that Joanne is the one that gets to watch the stupid reality shows that Holly secretly loves whilst cuddled up on the coach sharing a bottle of the brunette's favourite red. She hates that Joanne is the one that gets to watch Holly be Holly, be her wonderfully nerdy self. She hates that Joanne is the one that gets to do all of those things but chooses not to. Joanne takes Holly for granted and the brunette can't see it. Or won't see it.

Joanne gets to go to sleep next to Holly each night and even better than that, she gets to wake up with her each morning and witness the delicate furrow between perfect eyebrows as Holly wakes from peaceful sleep.

Gail hates that Joanne gets to be with Holly. She hates that Joanne gets to be with Holly and she doesn't. But most of all she hates that it's all her fault. Gail let Holly slip through her fingers and she will never forgive herself for that.

Gail had her chance and she blew it. Ten months ago she kissed Holly in a darkened interrogation room but instead of being honest about her feelings, instead of throwing caution to the wind and telling Holly how much she cared for her, how much she adored the way the brunette made her feel, like her whole body was alive, a raging ball of fire ignited by the simplest touch from Holly, Gail did what she always does. Gail panicked. The barriers came up and she brushed their kiss off as nothing more than a moment of madness. Her emotions were all over the place with the shooting and Oliver being abducted and Gail just needed to feel something, blow off some steam, so that's all it was, Gail releasing some pent up energy. At least that's what she told Holly. She'd convinced the pathologist that it had meant nothing and Holly being the wonderful person that she is just took it on the chin and accepted the blonde's excuses not wanting to push her new friend away.

Now it's ten long months later and Gail has never regretted anything more in her life and there's nothing she can do about it.

Holly's happy with Joanne even though Gail firmly believes that the brunette could do so much better. Gail doesn't want to be selfish, she doesn't want to break up Holly's happiness by saying anything about her feelings. The brunette has no idea that Gail feels so strongly for her. She has no idea that Gail's fingers physically itch to touch her whenever they're in the same room, she misses the way Gail's breath catches in her throat whenever the brunette smiles. Gail's glad that Holly doesn't notice it, she doesn't want Holly to see how pathetic she is, how desperately Gail wants to be with the brunette. They have the perfect friendship now, their best friends, Gail can't lose that.

Gail knows that other people don't miss it.

Even now Gail can feel Traci's gaze burning a hole in the side of her face. She casts a cursory glance in Traci's direction shrugging her shoulders very slightly as the detective squeezes her forearm gently in a show of support. Traci is the only person that Gail has confided in about her feelings for Holly. She is so grateful for Traci's support, convinced that if she didn't have someone to unload to then the feelings stirring within her would become all consuming. Of course, Gail is fairly certain that Steve has an inkling about her unrequited love, as does Dov. They are both constantly talking to her cryptically, _'it's better to have loved and lost Gail than never to have loved at all,' 'you've got to fight for what you want,' 'all you need is love,'_ are just a few of the ridiculous clichés that they both like to randomly drop into conversations with her whenever Holly's name is mentioned.

Sharing one last look with Traci, taking comfort in the warmth reflected back at her, Gail looks longingly back across the table. So lost in her own thoughts Gail hasn't realised that the lights in The Penny had been dimmed as late afternoon grows into evening. As her gaze lands on Holly it hits her again just like it does every time she catches sight of the brunette, straight to the heart like a freight train, Holly is the single most beautiful women on the planet. The brunette throws her head back laughing at something that Dov has said as he gesticulates wildly with his hands the buzz from the alcohol setting in and as the brunette's laugh tumbles effortlessly into a soft giggle Gail grips her knees tightly having to fight the urge to launch herself across the table and press her lips against Holly's.

'You okay Peck?' The hairs on the back of Gail's neck stand on end, her Holly induced high immediately disappearing to be replaced with feelings of rage and as much as she tries to compress the feelings, jealousy. 'You're looking a little flustered.' Blue eyes bore into grey and Gail can't prevent the sneer that appears across her face.

'I'm fine,' Gail retorts, 'but thanks for your concern.' Joanne's eyes sparkle with mischief and Gail berates herself for biting.

Joanne tightens her arm around Holly's shoulders. 'Nah. You definitely look flustered. Doesn't she look flustered Hols?' The brunette looks nervously between Joanne and Gail feeling the tension simmering between them. The blonde watches her mouth open and close like a goldfish unsure of what's best to say. 'Come on Peck, we're all friends here.' Joanne smirks bringing her arms to rest on the table leaning forward challenging the blonde. Holly shifts uncomfortably in her seat, she recognises the twitch in Gail's eyebrow, a sure fire sign that the blonde is irritated. From the moment they were introduced Gail and Joanne had taken an instant dislike to one another and no matter how much Holly tries to bridge the gap between them she always falls short.

Gail readies herself to snap back but the sound of Holly's sweet, dulcet tone stops her in her tracks, 'Leave it Joanne.' Joanne flicks her jet black hair over her shoulder and flops back in her chair with a huff casting a look of contempt at Holly making Gail's blood boil.

Gail smiles softly at Holly hoping to convey her appreciation as she pushes herself up from her chair, 'I'm out.' The blonde looks around at the rest of the table's occupants as she throws back her last mouthful of jack and coke, 'see you losers later.' Slamming the glass back down on the table she grabs her leather jacket off the back of the chair. Holly looks like she is about to say something but Joanne squeezes her hand tightly between her own and the brunette shrinks back into her seat. Casting one last look in Traci's direction, taking great pleasure in the filthy look that her friend is throwing in Joanne's direction, Gail turns on her heal and strides away through the gradually increasing crowd congregating in The Penny.

Gail breathes in deeply as the fresh air hits her closing her eyes for a moment as she takes a deep, calming breath. Flicking her collar up to block out the gentle Autumn breeze Gail turns to make her way back home.

'Gail!' The blonde had barely taken two steps when a familiar voice rings in her ears. 'Gail, just wait a minute.' Keeping her back turned for a couple of moments Gail closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to calm her rapidly beating heart and then turns to meet a pair of warm chocolate eyes.

'Holly,' Gail loves the way the brunette's name sounds on her tongue, 'you should go back inside, it's getting cold out.'

'I think I can take it, a tough chick like me.' Holly jokes as she takes a step closer to Gail, the cheeky grin on her face quickly falling away when the blonde doesn't even crack a smile, not even a hint of one. 'What's going on? You high tailed it out of there pretty quickly.' Holly gestures over her shoulder towards The Penny.

'Just tired.' Gail hates lying to Holly but she knows that if she tells her the truth it could cause all kinds of mess and she's terrified that it would cause a rift between her and Holly.

Holly takes a step forward until only a couple of feet separate them and Gail feels her skin tingling in response. 'Talk to me.' She whispers placing what she thinks is a comforting hand on the blonde's arm but it doesn't comfort Gail, in fact, it just makes her feel ten times worse. The blonde takes a step back putting some space between them, she can't think clearly when Holly's touching her, when their standing so close that she can feel the heat radiating off the brunette. 'Talk to me Gail, something's going on with you lately, you're quiet, distant.' Holly dips her head trying to catch Gail's downturned gaze as she take a tentative step forwards only for Gail to mirror her actions and take another step back. 'Gail please…'

Gail finally looks up as Holly pleads with her and she can't mistake the look of worry etched across the brunette's face, 'Holly I…' She trails off. Gail feels tears stinging her eyes, she hears the blood pumping in her ears and as Holly steps forwards placing both hands on the blonde's upper arms she can't bring herself to pull away. Her defences are crumbling, the walls that she has spent the last ten months carefully constructing to keep her feelings for Holly locked away are starting to give way.

'Gail…' Holly breathes, her own eyes beginning to glisten at having to witness Gail wrestle with whatever is going on inside her head.

'Holly, I need to tell you something.' Gail tries to steady her voice but her words keep catching in the back of her throat.

'You're shaking.' Holly wraps her arms around the blonde and it's only then that Gail notices the tremble in her hands. For a moment Gail allows herself to succumb to her feelings. Leaning into the crook of Holly's neck Gail breathes in deeply, the sweet scent of Holly invades her senses and for a second Gail feels her heart dancing in her chest.

Pulling back Gail wipes at her nose with the sleeve of her jacket, 'Holly I need you to know, I've tried not to say anything I really have but…I need to tell you.' Gail reaches out and takes Holly's hand holding it between her own and a glimmer of something flashes across the brunette's eyes but Gail can't pinpoint exactly what it is. Hope. Maybe. Or maybe that's just what Gail wants to see. Taking a deep and steadying breath Gail starts to speak, 'Holly, you're my best friend, you're like my favourite person in the whole world. Just don't tell Steve.' Holly chuckles lightly at Gail's words and the blonde feels her confidence grow. Maybe this is going to go exactly as she wants it to. Gail allows her eyes to trail over every inch of Holly's face. She's about to let it all out, tell Holly how she really feels and she wants to remember every single moment. Gail notices the way Holly has begun to bounce on the balls of her feet, a habit the usually calm and collected pathologist only every exhibits on those very rare occasions when she is feeling anxious.

'Just tell me Gail,' Holly blurts out her gaze boring into the blonde's eyes as she presses forwards even further, they are but a whisker away from one another their bodies brushing ever so delicately against one each other as they breathe deeply.

This is it, this is the moment when everything changes, 'Holly you're great, amazing actually and I need you to know that I want to be with-'

'Hols come back inside it's cold out here.' That voice cuts through Gail like a knife. The blonde sees Joanne appear over Holly's shoulder and she pulls her hand out of the brunette's grasp. The moment is gone. 'Holly?' Joanne enquires and Gail doesn't miss the slight edge to her tone and it immediately causes her hackles to raise.

Gail looks back at Holly who has yet to turn round and acknowledge her girlfriend. _Girlfriend_. Gail's blood runs cold. Holly has a girlfriend, what the hell is she thinking? Gail continues to look into Holly's eyes, the brunette's gaze trained on her almost pleadingly. This is too much for Gail. It's too intense. She forces herself to look away and does the thing she's always been good at, giving in and running away. 'Joanne's right,' the other women's name sounds bitter on Gail's tongue, 'you should head back inside.' The blonde is almost convinced that she witnesses the brunette physically deflate, like the wind has been knocked out of her but she quickly shakes those thoughts from her mind. Holly has a well off, successful girlfriend, a lawyer. Gail can't compete with that.

'Peck's right.' Joanne state. Holly still hasn't uttered a word her eyes still firmly planted on Gail as is she's searching for something. _Anything._

'You had something to tell me. Gail, you're my best friend, you can talk to me.' Holly says as if talking to a startled child her tone carrying a hint of desperation.

'It can wait.' Gail shrugs as Joanne looks back and forth between them, 'no big deal.'

'Right.' Holly shrugs, mirroring Gail's actions, 'no big deal.' The brunette's gaze hardens, it's no longer radiating warmth instead it's as if she's looking right through Gail. 'This is your last change Gail, do you have something to tell me or not. Don't push me away.' Gail stands there like a mute, hating the turn for the worse that this conversation has taken and the fact that it's happening in front of Joanne. Holly sighs heavily in frustration and rolls her eyes 'See you round, Peck.' The slight waver in the brunette's voice catches Gail off guard of course Joanne doesn't pick up on it, she's too busy smirking at the blonde enjoying the look of frustration and irritation on Holly's face and the fact that it's aimed at Gail. But that isn't what breaks the blonde.

Holly called her 'Peck' it's should be Gail, Holly always calls her Gail. The blonde feels her heart crack, she's fucked up. She never should have said anything. She should have kept her big mouth shut but now instead Holly's pissed at her. She should have held everything inside and been the Gail that Holly knows, snarky, fun, her friend. The Gail that Holly needs. Not the Gail she is becoming, miserable, mopey…distant.

Gail can't bring herself to turn away. All she can do is watch helplessly as Holly turns away from her and walks swiftly back towards The Penny. Joanne watches her girlfriend's retreating form until Holly enters the bar the door swinging shut behind her. A few moments pass by and Joanne turns back to face Gail, her eyes raking over the blonde's lithe form making Gail's skin crawl. 'You know you're wasting your time, right?' Joanne sneers, 'You had your chance with Holly.' Gail's eyes squint at the lawyer, Holly told her about the kiss. 'She's mine now.'

'Oh really?' Gail stands up straighter in an attempt to make herself as imposing as possible, something her mother always taught her to do from a young age to make her look more threatening to criminals.

'Really.' Joanne sniggers to herself as she kicks casually at a discarded bottle cap on the pavement, 'Holly's out of your league Peck.' She emphasises the 'Peck' for good measure. 'Me and Holly, we aren't like you.'

'Like me?' Gail asks trying to keep her breathing under control.

'We're ambitious, high achievers and you're just…not. Maybe you need to go after someone more on your own level. I know you think you love her,' Gail feels her heart stop, 'and maybe you do, but you won't ever be enough for her. If I was you,' Joanne shakes her head, 'I'd walk away now before you embarrass yourself.' With that she walks away from the blonde.

Once the door has slammed shut leaving Gail alone on the side walk a violent sob forces itself out from her deepest depths. The blonde clamps a hand over her mouth trying to hold the sobs that are threatening to rack her body at bay. Leaning forward Gail grips her thighs so tightly her knuckles turn white, breathing deeply as tears cloud her vision.

_Not good enough._

Joanne knows exactly what to say to cause maximum impact. Gail has never felt good enough for Holly and to hear yet another person telling her that she isn't good enough cuts her to the core. She's spent her whole life being told she isn't good enough. Being told she's not good enough at school, not good enough at sport, not good enough to make the detective rotation, not good enough for her mother they all hurt but not being good enough for Holly that's the one that breaks her.

Gail is in such a state of distress that she isn't aware of anything else going on around her until she feels a tentative hand rest on her shoulder.

'Gail.' Lifting her head the blonde can just about make out her brother's concerned expression through her tears, 'Holly?' He asks wrapping his arm around his sister's waist allowing her to rest against him for support.

'Holly.' Gail confirms and wipes the sleeve of her jacket against her nose. 'Take me home Steve. I can't be here.'

Pulling the blonde against his side Steve turns and leads Gail along the street towards her apartment, 'I've got you Gaily.'

'I can't do this anymore, Steve. Holly, she's…I….I can't….' She can barely speak as the tears cascade down her cheeks.

'I know,' Steve rests his chin against his sister's head as she leans into his chest her hand gripping his shirt tightly, 'I know.'

**Reviews will be greatly appreciated so that I know if it's worth continuing. I hope you've enjoyed it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**A/N: thanks for the lovely reviews and words of encouragement I have tried to respond to everyone :)**

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Two**

Gail cradled the steaming cup of hot chocolate between her hands blowing gently across the boiling hot liquid. She smiled gratefully at her brother as he flopped down on the chair opposite her carefully placing his own cup on the coffee table which was acting as a barrier between them. If there's one thing that Steve knows about his sister it's that in times like this, when she's on the brink of falling apart, she needs space, she needs to feel like she can escape if she needs to. If she feels trapped she has one go to move, she bolts.

The detective has found it difficult these last few months, having to watch his little sister struggle, normally he'd give her time to work through what she's feeling and then eventually she'd come to him to unload. Gail has always been someone who holds all of her feelings inside until she reaches breaking point and then she goes off the rails in one way or another and in the past that's manifested itself in numerous ways. When she was fourteen she died her hair bright purple, when she was sixteen she left home for a week and didn't contact their parents at all, safe to say that didn't go down well. These days she tends to get drunk almost to the point of alcohol poisoning except for that one time last year when she cut her hair off, now that was a shock to the system but Steve actually thinks he prefers it now.

The Gail sitting in front of him is something that he's never witnessed before, she looks defeated, curled up on the couch making herself as small as possible as if trying to protect herself from the world around her. Her gaze is focused on the window above Steve's head but she isn't really looking through it, she's in a daze, her mind reliving what happened with Holly over and over in her head on a loop taunting her.

'Gaily.' Steve whispers keeping his voice low waiting patiently for her to come back to the here and now. The glazed over look she's wearing slowly dissipates and her eyes begin to focus on the safe familiarity of her big brother.

'I don't know what to do,' Gail mutters her head falling back to rest against the couch. 'What do I do Steve?' She asks squeezing her eyes shut fighting against the second onslaught of tears that are threatening to fall.

'You tell her.' Steve says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He takes a sip of his hot chocolate enjoying the feel of the warm cup against his hands in stark contrast to the bitter chill that rages on outside.

Gail rolls her eyes at her brother's brazen response, 'I can't tell her.' She whines, her child like manner reminding Steve of when they were young and their parents would make them go out for early morning runs. 'She's happy Steve, she's happy with _she who must not be named.' _Gail feels her face flush red as he brother's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, 'Holly makes me watch them sometimes when I go round…'

'You wouldn't watch Harry Potter for just anyone,' Steve says chuckling lightly when Gail shrugs refusing to meet his gaze. They both sit in comfortable silence for a few moments as Steve contemplates his next words carefully. 'Is she really happy?'

'Joanne's a lawyer.' Gail reasons.

'So.' Steve leans forwards in the chair hands clasped together in front of him unsure of what exactly Gail is getting at.

'She can buy Holly the big house in the suburbs, she can take her on the fancy holidays, she can take her to five star restaurants, or at least she would if she wasn't so fucking stupid.' Gail huffs, the remaining residue of self-worth she has left is hanging on by a thread.

'You think that's what Holly wants?' Steve asks incredulously, 'Holly doesn't want that.'

Placing her mug down onto the coffee table Gail curls her legs up against her chest and rests her chin on her knees as she ponders Steve's words. 'She deserves it though.'

'Holly deserves someone who will love her, Gail.'

'Joanne doesn't love her,' The blonde seethes her steely gaze trained on her brother, that familiar feeling of hatred seeping into her bones at the thought of Joanne not loving Holly in the way she deserves to be loved. 'Not like she should.'

Steve hold his arms out to his sides palms raised to the ceiling as he shrugs, 'no anyone who does?' He asks knowingly. Gail wilts under his scrutiny, his question sounds so simple but the slight edge to his tone, the glimmer in his eyes, gives way to the challenge he is laying down for his sister.

This is where Gail would normally shut down, tell him to piss off and mind his own business, but she doesn't. She can't carry on like this. 'I love her.' The blonde says gently. 'I'm in love with her.' Then louder, more determined. Confident. Perhaps…

Steve smiles widely at Gail, the pride evident in is body language, the assured nod of his head, the way he slaps his palms down against his thighs, 'Yea you do slugger.' Gail rolls her eyes at him playfully. 'So what happens now?'

'I'm going to text her, see if she'll agree to see me.' Gail says jumping up from the coach, her knee knocking against the table causing spots of brown liquid to drip down the edge of her mug onto the once pristine wooden surface.

'Really?' Steve asks in surprise, 'I thought that it would take a slightly longer more advanced Steve Peck pep talk, my powers must be growing if-'

'Shut it, Steven.' Gail rebuts as she fishes her phone out of her back pocket and begins typing as Steve looks over her shoulder.

_We need to talk, can I come to your place?. Gail xx_

The minutes pass as they both watch the phone. 'What now?' Steve asks receiving a back hand to the chest from Gail. Two sets of blue eyes stare down at the small device being clutched tightly in Gail's palm, her normally steady hands begin to tremble as the seconds tick on. It feels like forever but it's only mere minutes when her phone lights up in her hand causing her to jump so violently she almost sends the phone crashing to the floor, her well-practiced reflexes the only thing to ensure that doesn't happen. 'I can't believe they let you fire a gun.'

Gail doesn't acknowledge Steve's dig instead remaining focused on her phone.

_I'm at work._

'She's at work,' Gail's says indignantly, 'what the hell does that mean?'

'I think it means she's at work.' Steve quips only just managing to successfully dodge his sister's flailing arm. 'It means you need to go to the morgue and see her.'

'What if she doesn't want to see me,' Gail huffs, her earlier exuberance giving way to another attack of nerves. 'This is hardly an invitation.' The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger as she tries to decipher what the brunette's message could mean.

'Just go Gail.' Steve instructs picking up Gail's jacket from the back of the chair and thrusting it into her arms. 'If you don't do this now you never will.' Gail looks at him sceptically, 'suck it up, you're a Peck, you can do this.' Steve's heavy palms clamp down on top of Gail's shoulders.

'You're right,' Gail conceded.

'Once more with feeling Gaily.'

''You are absolutely right. I'm a Peck! I got this.' Gail nods her head in affirmation taking one last look at her brother feeling encouraged by the confident smile etched across his features.

* * *

><p>Gail stands just out of sight leaning against the wall opposite the doorway taking a few moments to calm her nerves and allowing herself some precious seconds to watch the figure that occupies the lab. Normally Holly moves with such carefree grace that Gail can't help but stop and stare but today as she watches Holly work the brunette's strained movements don't escape the blonde's attention. Instead of floating around the room a smile gracing her lips, eyes glimmering happily Holly is hunched forward, her hip resting against the mortuary table her gaze down cast.<p>

The blonde takes a tentative step forwards until she is standing in the doorway to the lab. Holly must sense someone's presence, Gail would like to think that Holly just has a sixth sense where the blonde is concerned, that they are somehow connected on a deeper level where they are able to feel when the other is near, brown eyes meet blue and Gail feels her heart sink when the pathologist immediately turns her back on the blonde.

'What do you want Gail?' the brunette asks picking up a folder resting beside her she begins casually flicking through the file trying to give off an air of nonchalance but Gail can see the tension on the brunette's face in the way her forehead furrows and she bites at her bottom lip.

'We need to talk.' Gail says, her tone unwavering, 'I need to tell you something.'

'I gave you the chance to talk earlier. I gave you the chance to talk last week, last month.' The brunette's voice is gradually increasing in volume, 'but you've been pushing me away. We're friends Gail, it probably sounds ridiculously juvenile but I thought we were best friends but now something's changed.'

'I'm so sorry Holly.'

'Jesus Christ, Gail!' Holly slams the report down, the sound echoing through the lab making the blonde jump. 'I'm so pissed at you!' The brunette spins round throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. The sudden action causes her to take a sharp intake of breath her right arm coming to rest against her chest as she cradles it gently with her left.

'Holly,' Gail says, her voice barely above a whisper, 'what's happened? Are you okay?' The blonde's chest tightens at the thought of Holly being in any kind of pain.

'I'm fine.' The brunette holds her hand up to keep the blonde at arm's reach. 'Why are you here Gail?'

''I want to apologise.'

'Apology accepted.' Holly snaps vehemently, 'you can go now. Didn't you get my message? I'm busy'

Gail ignores the dismissive response taking another step forwards, 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I'm such a coward Holly.' The brunette watches her with a look of puzzlement. 'I've been wanting to tell you for so long. I should have told you ten months ago…' Gail see's the realisation dawn on Holly's face. 'Holly, you need to know. I can't hold it in anymore.'

'Oh God.' Holly whispers as a single tear mars bronze skin. 'You can't say this if you don't mean it Gail, you can't say it and then take it back.' Holly breathes in deeply her eyes misting over as another tear falls quickly followed by another and then another until one merges into the next.

'I mean it.' Gail breathes out, standing so close to Holly that she can almost taste her lips. 'Holly,' Gail pauses momentarily overcome with emotion culminating in a smile stretching across her face a smile that's reflected back at her by the women she loves. 'We've wasted so much time,' Holly raises her eyebrows at this and Gail rolls her eyes playfully and for a moment things feel like they used to before it all got so messed up, 'I've wasted so much time, I've always wanted you. I think from the moment we met but instead of doing something about it, I ran and I can't apologise enough for that.' Gail raises her hand and trails her knuckles down the length of Holly's cheekbone, 'I realised I couldn't live without you but then it was too late, you were with Joanne….are with Joanne.' The police officer corrects herself. 'You'd only been together two months when you told me that things were serious between you two and that was the final straw. I couldn't kid myself anymore,' Holly stares at Gail in disbelief, 'but I was too late, you were happy with Joanne-are happy with Joanne.' The blonde corrects herself again the force of her own words hitting her like a sucker punch to the chest. 'You're happy with Joanne.' Gail whispers her words catching in her throat.

'I am happy with her Gail,' Holly concedes, 'sometimes…' the brunette trails off. Seeing the look of confusion on the blonde's face Holly searches for the right words to explain herself. 'From the moment I met you, you've been inside me Gail, right here.' Holly says gripping the material that covers her chest over her heart. 'I try to be happy with her because I have no choice.'

'You have no choice?' Gail asks softly.

Holly's eyes glisten with emotion, no one has ever looked at Gail like this before, like she hung the moon and the stars, it's almost too much for the blonde…almost. 'You're perfect for me Gail. We're perfect for each other, I've always known that.' Holly giggles softly as she speaks and it's like music to the blonde's ears. 'But when I thought you didn't want me, when you said you didn't want me,' Gail feels a bang of guilt deep in her chest, 'and you told me you only wanted to be friends, I was just willing to take what I could get.'

'Holly…baby.' Gail sighs, her term of endearment bringing yet more tears, happy tears, to Holly's beautiful eyes. The blonde reaches down and gently grasps the brunette's wrist giving it a firm squeeze as she pulls Holly the remaining the distance towards her.

The brunette's sudden yelp in pain catches Gail completely off guard, like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over her the overwhelming emotions of the last few minutes evaporate. She immediately releases Holly's wrist and watches in horror as the brunette bites at her bottom lip and proceeds to take slow, deep, even breathes in an attempt to keep her reactions under control until the pain passes, not wanting to worry Gail. One look into blue eyes though and Holly knows she hasn't been able to disguise the amount of pain she is in from Gail, the smaller women is a police officer after all.

'Show me.' Gail requests leaning into the brunette carefully moving the injured wrist away from the brunette's chest and cradling it delicately in the palm of her hand. Gail uses her other hand to carefully roll up the sleeve of the brunette's lab coat.

'Gail it's fine, it's nothing.' The blonde shakes her head at the brunette, 'honestly Gail it was an accident.'

The blonde gasps at the angry bruise that's beginning to form in a loop on the usually pristine skin that wraps around Holly's wrist. 'Holly…' The blonde trails off. Holly keeps her eyes trained on Gail whose eyes are down cast inspecting the damaged skin, her pale thumb rubbing soft, barely perceptible circles over the marred flesh hoping to offer the brunette some kind of comfort.

'I promise it was an accident,' Holly smiles at the blonde hoping to reassure her. 'We were having a fight and it just happened.' Holly gulps as blue eyes narrow and look up from her wrist boring into her and she knows that she's said the wrong thing.

'Joanne did this.' Gail seethes. 'What happened?' Holly struggles to find the words, 'Tell me.' The blonde demands.

Holly shrugs trying to play it off like it was no big deal. 'Like I said we were arguing,' the brunette's gaze flits around the lab, looking anywhere but at Gail. The blonde's heart sinks, they were fighting over her. Holly got hurt because she and Joanne were fighting about Gail. One look at the blonde and Holly knows that Gail's figured it out.

The blonde steps away from the brunette releasing her hold on Holly's wrist, the red mist has set over her. 'She hurt you.' It's not a question. The words sound bitter on the blonde's lips.

'Gail please calm down,' Holly pleads. 'We were fighting and I tried to follow her into her bedroom but she slammed the door closed onto my wrist. It was an accident.'

Gail shakes her head, 'She hurt you.' Gail steps forward and places a soft kiss to the corner of Holly's mouth her words strained. 'Have you ever had an accident like this before?' Gail asks only just holding it together, Holly's silence tells Gail everything she needs to know. Gail presses a second kiss to Holly's cheek, 'I'm sorry.' Holly is confused by Gail's apology but as the blonde turns and sprints from the lab the realisation dawns.

''Gail!' Holly calls out but the blonde has already disappeared through the door and is out of sight.

Holly reaches into her lab coat pocket and fumbles with her phone as she desperately tries to type in her passcode getting it wrong twice before successfully getting it right the third time. She quickly scrolls through her numbers until she finds the one she's looking for. Holly holds the phone to her ear as she stumbles around the lab trying to find her car keys.

Holly hears the click of the connection in her ear, 'Traci, it's Holly. I need your help. You need to get come and get me from the lab we need to go to Joanne's right now. It's Gail…'

**So that's chapter 2. This story will have between 5-8 parts and then I will try my hand at a longer story.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**Beta:** The brilliant **Sansarz**

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Three**

Gail looks up at the three story town house, her eyes fixated on the window that was lit up a deep blue colour by what the blonde assumes is the television. She has only been here twice before, once when Holly was having a party to celebrate her thirty second birthday and the second and last time was when the brunette phoned her in tears to come and pick her up because she and Joanne had had an argument. Gail never found out what the fight was about, all she remembers of that night is picking Holly up from outside the town house, it was pouring down with rain and the brunette was shivering with the cold. Gail took her back to her two bed apartment and Holly fell asleep on the couch, the blonde's fingers running through her hair lulling her into a peaceful sleep once the tears had subsided.

The blonde stares at her hands gripping the steering wheel. She methodically loosens her grip and then tightens it again repeating the process over and over. On the drive over here her mind was awash with thoughts of Holly and the pained expression on the brunette's face. Gail barely remembers the ten mile journey she navigated to get here all she can think about is how Holly looked when Gail asked her whether Joanne had _'accidentally'_ hurt her before today.

Gail releases the breath she's been holding in puffing her cheeks out with the force of her exhale. Gail looks at herself in the rear view mirror to find her own blue eyes, the steely determination in them being reflected back at her. The blonde is shaken from her thoughts by her phone vibrating in the cup holder.

'_Holly'_

The brunette's name flashes up on the screen alongside a picture of Holly pulling a goofy face, eyes crossed, tongue stuck out to the side, the vision of Holly almost gives the blonde pause for thought. _Almost._ Gail shoves her phone into the glove compartment slamming the small black door shut trying to disguise the vibrations that are signalling Holly's desperation to get in touch with her. The police officer clambers out of her car holding the key fob over her right shoulder hearing the familiar double beep of the car locking behind her.

Gail moves with the ease and guile you would expect of a tiger stalking it's prey, she isn't drawing attention to herself as she crosses the street her steps measured, her breathes even. She's in control, or so it would seem to anyone whose gaze happens to fall on her. Her heart is pumping wildly in her chest, her fingers are tightly curled into her palms cutting into the flesh and her eyes are trained on the white door. She has tunnel vision.

The door to the town house swings open just as Gail places her right foot on the first step leading up to the entrance. Her mouth twitches violently as Joanne steps out onto the porch unable to prevent the look of complete disgust and contempt from appearing on her face.

'To what do I owe the pleasure Peck?' Joanne asks leaning back against the door frame arms folding across her chest.

'We need to talk.' Gail sneers as she climbs the steps coming to a stop when she reaches the top of the small flight of stairs.

Joanne rolls her eyes. 'What could you and I possibly have to talk about Peck? I'm a busy women. I mean, I have cases to solve, criminals to put behind bars. A real job. We can't all walk around playing dress up Peck.' The lawyer's words immediately set the blonde on edge but she bites her tongue, she isn't here to compare job descriptions.

'We need to talk about Holly.' Gail calmly states and that's when it happens. Joanne folds her arms in front of her, defensive. Her eyes widen very slightly, the movement is so small that most people wouldn't pick up on it but Gail does, she's spent years training how to notice the finer details.

Joanne's nervous.

'I'm busy.'

Gail steps closer invading Joanne's personal space. 'I don't care how busy you are.' The blonde's tone is steady, firm, her blue eyes boring into grey. 'There are some things we need to discuss and we can either do it out here on your front porch or we can go inside.' Joanne tilts her head in the direction of the house and Gail nods back at her as she waltzes inside unable to keep the triumphant smile off her face. She has Joanne rattled.

Gail finds herself in the living room. She takes in her surroundings, everything that occupies the room is pristine white or black in stark contrast. All Gail can think is how much this doesn't suit Holly. The brunette's apartment is so warm and full of life, lived in. This home, if you can call it that, is cold and unforgiving just like it's owner.

'Get on with it Peck.' Joanne says her earlier bravado firmly back in place.

'You hurt Holly. You slammed the door on her wrist and hurt her.' Gail states unflinchingly. 'And I know it's not the first time.' Gail delivers the knockout blow. 'You're going to pay for what you've done.'

Joanne's face turns pale, her gaze flittering away from Gail and quickly back again. 'I never meant to hurt her, Peck.' Gail is surprised at the desperation in Joanne's tone, she was expecting more of a fight. 'I love her,' Joanne says catching Gail completely off guard.

'Are you kidding me?' Gail shouts, 'how can you love her and then go and hurt her? I would never dream of hurting her.'

'But you have.' Joanne says, 'you know why she's with me.' Gail runs the palm of her hand across her forehead. 'She fell into my arms because she thought you weren't interested. But we both know that was never the case don't we?'

'So what? That doesn't mean you get to knock her about!' Gail throws her arms up in exasperation and takes a step forward. Joanne stands her ground.

'I didn't knock her about. It happened twice.' The lawyer shrugs like she genuinely believes it's not a big deal. 'It was only two times, I don't know why she's making such a fuss about it.' Gail scoffs in disbelief. 'She said she forgave me, but she's obviously using the fact that we had a little accident to get close to you.'

'An accident?' Gail asks in disbelief flashing back to earlier at the lab when Holly referred to what had happened as an accident. 'It wasn't an accident.'

'But it was,' Joanne steps forward the wild look in her eyes making Gail question her decision to come here. 'She told me that she cared about me but I always knew I was second best. The first time it happened it was only because…' Joanne trails off.

'Only because what? Tell me.' Gail demands.

'She wasn't talking to me.' Joanne hisses, 'She got that promotion at work and she told you before she told me. She got her article published in that big shot American journal she went out to celebrate with you.' Gail can only stand there in stunned silence as Joanne rages on. 'When she had the flu she called you to help her, she wouldn't let me go round at all!'

'So what did you do?' Gail asks her blood running cold.

'It all just got on top of me. I thought you two were sleeping together behind my back. So I slapped her.' Joanne says. 'It split her lip.' Gail remembers a few months ago taking a trip down to the lab to see Holly and noticing the cut at the corner of her mouth the brunette told her that she wasn't wearing her helmet at the batting cages and had an _accident._

Gail's blood is boiling, her entire body is shaking. 'You're fucking crazy.' Joanne shrugs. Gail can't rap her head around Joanne's attitude, she's acting like this isn't touching her. 'That's all you've got, that's your explanation?' Gail lunges forward grabbing Joanne by the shoulders shoving her backwards until the lawyer's back hit the wall causing the picture frame beside her to shake. Gail doesn't hear the front door opening. She grabs hold of Joanne's collar holding her against the wall. 'I need more than that from you.'

'She pushed me too much.' Joanne looks over Gail's shoulder, something in the hallway catching her attention. 'She wanted you, Peck.' Gail's grip tightens. 'She made me fall in love with her. She tricked me.'

Gail feels a hand on her shoulder her head spins round quickly not realising that someone else had entered the room. 'Holly.' She breathes out, her eyes taking in the concerned look on the brunette's face. Gail catches sight of Traci in the doorway as she turns back to face Joanne her gaze hardening. 'She hurt you.'

'Come on Hols.' Joanne quips. 'Tell Peck they were both just accidents.'

Gail hears Holly gasp softly behind her. 'Don't you look at her!' Gail seethes. 'Don't you fucking look at her. You don't deserve to look at her.'

'You're pathetic Peck.' Joanne smirks and Gail can barely keep track of the quickly shifting faces of emotions that the lawyer is projecting. 'She used me and she'll just use you until someone better comes along.' Gail wheels her arm back fist clenched ready-

'Gail don't.' Holly pleads grabbing hold of Gail's arm desperately trying to stop the blonde from making a mistake by letting Joanne push her to the extreme. Gail looks back at Holly her shoulders sagging at the terrified look in brown eyes. 'Don't do this. This isn't you.'

'She hurt you.' Gail whispers as her grip on Joanne's collar loosens and her hand falls back against her side.

'Yes she did.' Holly concedes. 'She did hurt me and I should have walked away the first time but I didn't. I am now.' Brown eyes look to Traci who gives her a soft reassuring smile to continue.

'You're leaving me.' Joanne cuts in, 'for her!' She points a Gail indignantly the crazed look in her eyes returning.

'Back off.' Traci speaks for the first time since entering the house. 'You go anywhere near Holly and I will arrest you for assault.' The detective means business and Joanne knows it. Gail can't help but take smug satisfaction in the look of fear projected in grey eyes.

Holly places her hand on Gail's forearm as she steps around the blonde who had moved to stand in front of the brunette ready to protect Holly if necessary. 'I'm sorry Joanne.' Three sets of eyes land on the pathologist, none of them expecting her to utter those words. 'I'm sorry for leading you on, I never meant to. I really believed that we could have been happy but you're right there was a part of me that you couldn't ever get to because it belonged to someone else.' Brown eyes land on blue and Holly doesn't miss the look of adoration on Gail's face and it gives her the courage to continue. 'I know that sometimes I neglected you because my mind was elsewhere,' Joanne smiles smugly not expecting to come out of this looking like the good guy, 'but it doesn't excuse the way you treated me.' The smug grin slides off Joanne's face.

'This is crazy,' Joanne yells. 'It only happened twice. We both agreed that it was an accident.' The lawyer shouts. Gail quickly retakes her position in front of Holly her stance strong in case Joanne tries anything. Traci takes a step forwards her hands resting over her handcuffs.

'It's not just that though is it Joanne, it was everything else.'

Gail turns to face Holly. 'Everything else?' The blonde asks but is scared to hear the answer.

'The yelling, the name calling-'

'Sticks and stones Hols.' Joanne tries to reasons failing miserably to hide the desperation in her voice she is quickly realising that this is going the way she wants.

'Are you fucking kidding me you stupid-' Gail feels her blood reaching boiling point again.

'It's fine Gail.' Holly says her voice steady, her breathing calm. 'I made some mistakes Joanne but I didn't deserve the way you treated me. I won't put up with it anymore.' Brown eyes bore into Grey. 'It' over Joanne, we're done.' Gail feels a surge of pride deep in her chest, she can't begin to comprehend the true extent of what Holly has been through but she has never been more proud of the brunette than she is now. 'I know you think I'm just leaving because of Gail,' Joanne scoffs as she slumps back against the wall, 'and that is part of it but it's not everything. I'm leaving you for me. I deserve better than what you've given me.'

Gail looks back at the lawyer and is surprised to see the sudden change in her body language, she looks defeated. 'You think she can give that to you?' Joanne asks her gaze landing on Gail.

'Maybe. I hope so.' Holly looks to Gail for a moment taking in every beautiful feature. 'I don't want to hear from you again Joanne, not ever. If I do then I will make sure that Detective Nash here knows about it and she will be the one to deal with you. Do you understand?'

Holly takes Joanne's silence as confirmation. She looks to Traci who tilts her head in the direction of the front door. Holly takes one last look at Joanne, she can hardly believe how much she's changed since their first meeting. She's no longer the funny, smart, bolshie women who made Holly feel wanted again, she was everything the brunette thought she wanted after what happened with Gail and now she's become everything that Holly has never needed, controlling, negative, damaging.

With one final look at Joanne's despondent form Holly turns and strides out of the living room through the hall way and out of the front door. The brunette can't help but take a deep breath, she feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders like whatever was wrapping around her heart squeezing the life out of her has gone.

'Holly,' Gail whispers quietly, the sound of her voice music to the brunette's ears, 'are you okay?'

'I'm okay,' Holly looks to the blonde who's standing beside her. The brunette links her fingers with Holly's giving them a gentle squeeze. 'Can you take me home, please?'

'Of course.' Gail smiles softly, the exhaustion from the day's events finally hitting her. 'Let's go.'

* * *

><p>The rest of the journey had gone by in near silence and now Gail is sat on Holly's sofa watching the brunette potter around the kitchen aimlessly moving things from one work surface to the other. Gail realises that if she just sits here and does nothing this could carry on all night. Gail pushes herself up from the sofa the stress of the day sitting heavily on her shoulders, she quietly makes her way into the kitchen coming to a standstill behind the brunette who is leaning against the kitchen sink looking out from her fifth story apartment into the Toronto night sky. Gail tentatively places her hand on Holly's shoulder.<p>

'Oh God Holly, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.' The blonde apologises when Holly jumps at the contact knocking a cup into the sink, fortunately it doesn't break.

'It's not you.' Holly sighs leaning back into the blonde returning her eyes to the window, watching the sun setting. 'I'm just so used to being on edge, walking on egg shells, I suppose I'm going to have to get used to not being on edge now.'

'Talk to me.' Gail weaves her arms around Holly's waist resting her nose between the brunette's shoulder blades breathing in deeply. Once again Gail feels that all familiar tug in her heart. She could have had Holly like this for months now but instead she was a coward and pushed her away.

'I can't, not tonight.' Holly turns in Gail's arms. 'We're both tired and in all honesty I'm a little embarrassed.'

Gail furrows her brow in confusion. 'Embarrassed?'

Holly brings her arms up to wrap around Gail's shoulders. 'I've always prided myself on being a strong, independent women who knows her own mind.' Gail leans forward resting her forehead against Holly's. 'I can't believe I got myself into that kind of relationship with Joanne.'

Gail brings her hand up to cup Holly's cheek. 'You're amazing Holly.' Gail says it with such sincerity and it fills Holly with so much warmth, a warmth she's been missing for the last ten months. 'You need to talk about this.'

'I know.' Holly's eyes flutter closed under the intensity of Gail's gaze. 'I can't tonight though. I'm so tired but we'll talk tomorrow.' Holly promises. 'Tonight I just need to sleep. Get my head together you know.'

'I understand. I'll come round tomorrow after shift and we can talk. Or not talk. Whatever you want.' Gail is desperate not to push the brunette or make her feel like she's putting pressure on her. 'Whatever you want.' Holly nods her head smiling in appreciation at her Gail's patience. 'I'll head off if you want. Let you sleep.'

The brunette's eyes widen in panic. 'No don't.' She tightens her arms around Gail's shoulders pulling her into a tight hug. 'I'm not ready to talk but I'm not ready for you to go either. Please don't go.'

Holly's words and the way she clings desperately to Gail's back makes the blonde's heart lurch in her chest. 'I won't, I'm right here. I'm right here.' She runs her hands along the length of Holly's back hoping that the soothing motions will calm the brunette.

'Please don't leave me.' Holly pleads terrified at the thought of losing Gail again now that she is so close to having the blonde in exactly the way she has always wanted.

'I won't leave. I'm not going anywhere. I promise.' This is a vow that Gail is determined not to break.

_Ever._

* * *

><p><strong><em>I hope this chapter is okay, it was one I really wanted to try and get right.<em>**

**_Thanks_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**A/N: I'm overwhelmed by all of the support shown by those reading this story. For my first ever fiction I'm thrilled with your response. I hope you continue to enjoy :)**

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Four**

Gail sat at the back of parade her mind playing over yesterday's events. She and Holly spent a very quiet evening together watching back to back episodes of America's Next Top Model. Not something that Gail would usually choose to watch but it was mindless entertainment and that's what she and Holly needed after the day's events. Holly has stuck to Gail like glue all evening curled up against the blonde's side on the sofa her head resting on Gail's chest the blonde's arm wrapped around the brunette's waist her other hand holding Holly's tightly.

Throughout the evening Holly had kept looking up at the blonde, a look of wonder on her face. Each time their eyes connected the brunette looked almost relieved and Gail couldn't help but berate herself for not realising sooner that something wasn't right with her…her, Holly. If only she had picked up on something, anything, sooner maybe she could have stopped the struggle that Holly was suffering through.

The sound of mumbled conversations and shuffling of feet draws Gail out of her inner musings as she realises that everyone is leaving the parade room. Gail is booked in to finish writing the pile of reports that has been steadily building on her desk over the past week and she's glad of it, she'll just be able to get her head down and work without having to worry about interacting with anyone else.

Striding through the hallway Gail avoids eye contact with those she passes hoping nobody diverts her into a mindless conversation. Just as she drops into her chair she hears someone pull up another beside her and sit down with a huff.

'Whatever it is I can't help y-' Gail cuts her sentence short when she looks up and realises that it's Traci who has slumped down in a chair beside her. The blonde's hardened gaze softening at the sight of her friend. 'Hi.' Gail sighs.

'Hey.' Traci returns. 'So stupid question but how's things?'

Gail takes the time to ponder her response not wanting to fob the detective off with a mindless answer. Traci stepped up for Holly yesterday, she came to support them both at a moment's notice, no questions asked so she deserves the truth. Holly had told Gail last night how calm Traci was with her on the drive over to Joanne's and that if it wasn't for the detective's calm approach to the situation Holly was worried she may have reacted in such a way that would have made things worse. Traci had kept her sane during the drive over.

'Things are okay.' Gail rubs at her eyes unable to mask the exhaustion of yesterday. 'Holly's okay considering. That's the most important thing. I just….' Gail trails off as she looks around making sure that there is nobody else within ear shot. She's pleased to see that everybody seems busy and no one is paying any attention to her and Traci. 'I just feel like I've let her down, Holly, I mean.' Gail concedes.

'You've let her down?' Traci questions a hint of surprise evident in her tone.

'If I'd have realised that she was so unhappy I could have helped her.'

'Come on.' Traci pulls Gail up from her chair and leads her into the women's locker room as the blonde's eyes begin to glisten. Traci grips Gail's forearm bringing her to sit down on the bench in the middle of the locker room. 'Gail this isn't your fault.'

'It is.' Traci looks at her incredulously. 'Of course it is. Isn't it obvious?' A lone tear tumbles down Gail's cheek the emotion of the last twenty four hours overwhelming her.

'Not to me.' Traci says softly.

'We should have been together Traci.' Gail cries. 'Ten months ago I kissed her.' Traci already knows all of this but instead of interrupting she sits quietly, a comforting hand resting on the blonde's knee, she lets Gail unload. 'If I hadn't have been such a coward we would be together now and she never would have met Joanne and none of this would have happened to her.'

'This isn't your fault, Gail.' Traci says the words with such conviction that it stops Gail dead and she almost believes it. 'The only person in charge of what Joanne did and the way she behaved was Joanne.' Gail runs her hand through short blonde hair and wipes at her cheeks with her sleeve. 'What happens now? Traci asks. 'You and Holly both know where each other stand now so….' Traci trails off looking at the blonde inquisitively.

Gail can't suppress the smile that graces her features. Traci is sure that the blonde's blue eyes actually sparkle. 'Yeah,' Gail rubs shyly at the back of her neck. 'She wants to be with me and she knows I want to be with her. More than anything. I don't know if she's ready though.'

'Are you?' Traci asks fairly certain that she already knows the answer but asking anyway.

'I'm more than ready. I'd be with her right now if I could. But for once I can't let things be all about me.' Gail says firmly. 'Holly has to come first now. This isn't about what I want, it's about what she needs.' Traci looks at the blonde with such pride, the detective has never experienced such assertiveness or maturity from the blonde when it comes to her personal life. 'What?' Gail asks shyly.

'Nothing.' Tracy shrugs. 'It's just little Peck is growing up.'

'Shut it Nash.' Gail laughs as she pushes gently at the detective. 'I'll pinch you.'

'And there she is.' Traci laughs the affection she feels for the blonde clearly evident in her eyes. 'So what happens now?' Traci asks once the laughing subsides and they've both settled into a comfortable silence.

'We take things slow I think. We need to talk about everything that happened. I think Holly maybe needs to unload you know?' Gail says leaning forwards her forearms resting on her thighs. 'I'm not going to jump back into a relationship with her, she needs time to sort her head out but when the time comes I'll be ready.'

'Ready?' Traci asks.

'Ready to show her what it means to be with Gail Peck.' Gail says smugly. 'But seriously, she deserves to be wooed. She deserves to feel special and when the time comes I'm going make sure that, that happens.'

'Well then I think Holly is one very lucky lady.'

Gail flushes at the detectives thoughtful words. 'I'm the lucky one.' Traci wraps a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders and pulls her into a hug.

The quiet beeping of Gail's phone interrupts the silence enveloping the room. Standing up from the bench Gail fishes her phone out of her trouser pocket. Immediately Traci knows who the message is from, the smile currently taking over Gail's face comes out very rarely and only ever for one person in particular. Holly.

'I guess that's my cue.' Traci says as she stand up from the bench straightening her shirt collar. 'I'll leave you to your….Holly. Be good Peck.' Traci winks at Gail before briskly departing the locker room leaving Gail alone with her phone.

A pale thumb runs across the screen as Gail reads and rereads Holly's message:

_Come over tonight? We need to talk. And I want to see you, maybe, a little bit. Xx_

Gail sighs softly. God, this women drives her crazy. Her fingers begin taping way at the screen:

'_I'll come round straight after shift. I should be done by 7. I might want to see you a little bit as well. Xxx_

Slipping her phone back deep into her pocket ensuring it's safe Gail makes her way out of the locker room an extra little bounce in her step.

* * *

><p>Gail bounces nervously on the balls of her feet. She leans in towards the door and listens to Holly shuffling around on the other side. Her entire shift the blonde has been looking forward to this moment. Desperate to see the brunette again, to make sure she's okay, to make sure that she didn't dream up the way that Holly looked at her last night when they settled down side by side in the pathologists bed. Holly looked at Gail like she loved her.<p>

Gail has made a promise to herself that she will take things slow and steady with Holly. In the past the blonde has rushed into relationships, relationships that were all wrong for her and she knows that if she'd just been a little more tentative, taken things at more of a gentle pace she would have realised that fact before anybody got hurt. With Holly it's different, Gail knows that if they take this second chance then things between them will work out forever she just wants to make sure that they do it right.

Gail hears the door latch flick open and the blonde melts on the spot at the sight that meets her. Holly smiles wearily her glasses have fallen crooked on her nose. Brunette hair is pulled up in a messy bun and her deep brown eyes look impossible sleepy. Adorable. The blonde's heart is throbbing with affection for the women before her.

'Hey you.' Gail smiles sweetly an action not usually associated with her. 'Did I wake you?'

'No, you didn't wake me.' Holly sleepily rubs at her eyes and smiles her signature lopsided grin as she stands aside to let Gail in. Gail raises her eyebrows at the brunette. 'Okay so maybe you did wake me but I needed to wake up anyway. I have an early start tomorrow and if I'd slept much longer it would have thrown my sleep patterns all out of wack. How's work been?' Holly asks as she shuts the door behind them and follows Gail into the living room.

'It was okay, a lot of paperwork today.' Gail shrugs not sure if she should say what she really wants to say. 'I thought about you a lot. I missed you.' She said it anyway and the smile she is rewarded with tells her that she has said the right thing.

'I missed you to.' Holly whispers taking Gail a little off guard when she closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around the blonde's neck breathing in deeply. 'We should probably talk.' Holly mutters clearing her throat as she untangles her arms and rests back against the sofa facing Holly. Gail mirrors the brunette's position shuffling forwards as close as she can until their knees are touching hoping that their proximity offers Holly some comfort.

'Only if you're ready.' Gail says sincerely. 'I don't want to put any pressure on you.'

'I want to tell you.' The brunette says nervously as she fiddles with a stray thread on her sleeve.

'Just take your time.'

Holly starts from the beginning trying not to miss anything out and Gail….Gail is perfect. She sits and listens patiently never once interrupting, just allowing Holly to talk, to express herself in whichever way she wants, in whichever way works for her. Holly tells Gail how great things were at first between her and Joanne. She tells the police officer about how attentive Joanne was in the beginning. She tells her that Joanne made her laugh, and that she found it so easy to talk to the lawyer. She doesn't let it show but Gail can't help but feel a little jealous that once upon a time Joanne made Holly happy when she couldn't.

'It was a few months in when things started to change.' Holly's voice catches in her throat. 'She always used to ask about how my day was, she was interested in what I'd been doing but then she started to want to know specifics, like who exactly I'd seen and where I'd been and for how long.' Gail rests her hand on Holly's knee in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. 'At first it wasn't too bad but then she started getting annoyed if she found out I'd been out with you. She'd sulk and it made me feel guilty.' Holly sighs in exasperation shaking her head in disbelief irritated at herself for not recognising the early signs.

'Guilty, why?' Gail asks.

Holly bites at her bottom lip anxiously and opens and closes her mouth a couple of time obviously contemplating her words before she finally speaks. 'I knew why I was wanting to spend time with you.' She looks up at the blonde from beneath her eyelashes. 'I wanted to be spending time with you more than someone who already had a girlfriend should.' Holly rests her cheek in the palm of her hand, her elbow propped up on the back of the sofa. 'She said I was neglecting her, neglecting our relationship. I just…'

'It's okay.' Gail lifts Holly knees to rest the brunette's legs on top of her own allowing the blonde to slide further along the sofa and pull Holly in close against her side hoping that the physical contact provides the brunette with the strength to keep going.

'She told me that I wasn't putting her first, that she was the one putting in all of the hard work.' Holly snuggles further into Gail's side. 'She said I was a tease and that I was leading her on.' Holly wipes the back of her hand across her cheek brushing away tears that are beginning to escape. 'She said that I was using her because I couldn't have you.' Gail flashes back to yesterday when Joanne told her that Holly would use her until something better came along. Gail knows that isn't true. 'I told her that it wasn't true.' Holly looks up into blue eyes scared of what she'll find but instead all she finds is tenderness and love. 'I lied to her. I think she knew. I started making more of an effort and things got better for a while but it didn't last long.'

Gail presses her lips to Holly's hair line as the brunette tells her about the first time Joanne physically hurt her. Holly had been so excited about getting her article published for the American Journal of Pathology and without thinking she had called Gail to share her good news and the blonde had promptly joined the pathologist for a drink at The Penny to celebrate.

'Joanne was working late on a case and I didn't want to drag her away from her team.' Holly sniffles. 'When I got home she was already there. She was drunk. She started asking me where I'd been. I didn't want to tell her.' Gail brings her free hand up to brush fallen locks of hair behind Holly's ear. 'She always got so mad when I mentioned you. I told her I was just with friends, that I was celebrating but she took one look at me and she knew. She hit me. Out of nowhere.'

Holly feels the blonde's body tense beneath her. Holly lifts her head and her heart breaks at the desolate look on Gail's face. She runs her nose along the blonde's jawline taking comfort from their closeness

'She started crying afterwards and she kept apologising. I didn't know what to do.' Holly whispers.

'She was manipulating you.' Gail hisses through gritted teeth. It's the first words she's spoken for a while and her voice sounds almost foreign to her.

'I know that. I think I knew that then. It's strange.' Holly sits back a little so that she is able to take in Gail's features. 'I never thought I'd be one of those women you know. You think that if it was happening to you that you'd realise and get out.'

'It wasn't your fault Holly.'

'I think I know that now. Some people go through so much worse than what I went through. I didn't have it that bad in comparison. She only hit me once, hurt me twice and the name calling I can put up with.' Holly desperately tries to reason.

'It was bad enough.' Gail interjects. The emotion in her voice undeniable. Holly lifts her head and takes in Gail's sullen expression. 'It doesn't matter if she hit you once or ten times.' Gail can hear her voice rising and has to work hard to keep herself calm. 'It doesn't matter if she called you names once or a million times.' The blonde brings her hand up to wrap around the back of Holly's neck brushing her thumb across the loose hairs that lay there. 'You didn't deserve it. Nobody does. It shouldn't have happened.'

'Gail.' Holly whispers as she brushes away the tears that Gail didn't know were falling with the pads of her thumbs.

'Sorry.' Gail shakes her head in frustration. 'This isn't about me.'

'You care about me.' Holly says shyly.

Blue eyes glimmer as her gaze trails across the brunette's perfect face. 'More than anything in the whole world.' Gail says and Holly believes her every word. Leaning in the brunette brushes the tip of her nose against Gail's.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Holly asks her eyes flutter closed as she rests her forehead against Gail's. The blonde holds her breathe for a few moments not expecting Holly to ask that question. For a split second Gail wants to run but the way Holly is looking at her quickly removes that thought from her mind. Holly has been honest with the blonde today and she deserves to have the favour returned no matter how uncomfortable it makes the police officer.

'I was a coward.' Gail falls back against the sofa and runs her hand over tired eyes. 'I felt out of control with you. You did something to me, you made me feel something that I've never felt before.'

'What did I make you feel?' The brunette asks coyly.

Gail shrugs. 'You know…' Feeling like a teenager again Gail looks down at her lap trying to hide her nerves from the brunette her fingers fiddling with the ring on her left hand drawing attention to her feelings of anxiety. 'You scared me.' Gail sighs. 'I felt myself doing things that I didn't normally do. The batting cages for one.' Holly chuckles softly at the memory of Gail's failed attempt at taking part in sport. 'I can enjoy myself when I'm with you without getting drunk. You make me laugh.' Gail shakes her head gently as she looks back at Holly. 'When something good happened at work my first instinct is be to call you. Or if I see something funny. Sometimes I find myself just thinking about you.' Gail pauses for thought. She's never opened up this much to anyone, not ever and from the look in Holly's eyes Gail knows how much her opening up, finally, means to the brunette. 'Not thinking about you doing anything particularly special. Just you smiling or laughing, just something like that. I know it sounds cheesy but-'

Holly interjects quickly. 'It's not cheesy. I felt-no feel,' Holly corrects herself, 'the exact same way. There was a part of me that always clung on to the hope that maybe you felt something for me. I always felt like we had this real connection and I couldn't believe that I was the only one who felt it.'

'I felt it.' Gail admits even though that much is already obvious.

Holly blushes as her face breaks out into a huge yawn. She feels like she hasn't slept for days even though she has spent most of today alternating between napping and going over and over in her head everything that had happened with Joanne.

'I think I'm going to talk to someone.' Holly says. 'Someone neutral you know.'

'I think that's a good idea. It might be good to talk to someone who-'

'What about us?' Gail halts at Holly's sudden interjection. This game of verbal ping pong has her head in a spin. 'We both want this.' The brunette looks at Gail her eyes full of hope but the blonde catches the little glimmer of doubt that still resides in Holly's gaze.

'I want this.' Gail runs her thumb along Holly's bottom lip as the brunette breaks out into a lopsided grin. 'I want to do this right though and that means I'm going to be taking you out on dates.' Holly smiles brightly. 'I'm going to woo you Stewart.'

'I don't think that's necessary.' Holly giggles giving the blonde heart palpitations.

'Well it's happening, necessary or not. We're taking this slow.' Gail says. 'We aren't rushing this,' the blonde feels her body flood with warmth as Holly nuzzles her cheek into the palm of her hand. 'I want to be everything you need, everything you deserve.'

'Gail….' Holly sighs dreamily.

'So first things first,' Gail kicks her heels up onto the coffee table that sits on the plush rug in the centre of the room, 'I know you've been marathoning reruns of Jersey Shore so let's get to it Stewart.'

Holly can't help but press her lips against Gail's cheek holding them against alabaster skin for a moment or two longer than necessary. She pulls back and grins sweetly as Gail sneaks a look at the brunette from the corner of her eye.

'What did I say about going slow Dr. Stewart?' Holly doesn't respond with words instead she rests against the blonde lifting Gail's arms to wrap around her own shoulders cuddling up close feeling safe for the first time in a long time.

The familiar sound of the Jersey Shore opening credits filters through the television but Gail isn't really watching, she presses her nose into Holly's hair and breathes in deeply, her thumb rubs absent-mindedly across the brunette's injured wrist subconsciously trying to brush away the pain that Holly has felt.

This is definitely love.

**I'm expecting this story to be no more than ten parts, just to keep you in the loop.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I can guarantee that future chapters won't take as long to be unloaded. I recently got a new puppy which has taken up a lot of my free time, toilet training and all that jazz. **

**Anyway enjoy!**

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Five**

The Penny is bustling tonight as Gail pushes open the door and steps into the bar. Removing her scarf she cranes her neck trying to catch sight of the guys as she steps further into the mass of bodies. The blonde quickly removes her coat as she catches sight of Chris waving at her from across the room and begins pushing her way through the crowd muttering under her breath as she is jostled around as the patrons compete to get to the bar.

'Thank God you're here.' Chris directs at the blonde as she lays her coat over the back of the only vacant chair at the table and sits down ignoring the duffle coat that is already residing there.

'Chloe's sat there Peck.' McNally informs her.

'Don't care.' Gail quips before turning her attention to Chris. 'Thank God I'm here?' The blonde questions.

'Yea.' Chris brings his beer up to his lips taking a long drink. 'Dov's on another trivia kick and you're the only person who's worse at it than me.' He explains boyish smile planted firmly on his face.

'Dick.' Gail snipes snatching Chris' drink from his hand and chugging the remaining mouthful from the bottom of the bottle. 'I'm out Diaz.' Gail says offering him a cursory look unable to keep the smirk from her face as he gets up without argument and heads towards the bustling bar.

'I'm calling time out.' Traci says rolling her eyes as Dov tries to protest. 'We've been at it for,' the detective looks closely at her watch as she puffs out her cheeks, 'thirty three minutes Epstein. So put the cards down and step away from the trivia.'

'Fine.' Dov concedes a pout on his face. 'Just because I'm smarter than all of you.' He huffs and slumps back in his seat upon receiving no reply, the three women sat across from him immersed in their own conversation.

'So how's things going these days Peck?' Traci asks Gail really wanting to know how things are sitting with her and Holly but trying to ask under the guise of a casual enquiry about her day.

'Hey Gail.' Gail rolls her eyes at the chipper greeting from Chloe as she arrives back at the table appearing not to mind that the blonde has taken up residence in her seat as she plonks herself down on Dov's lap.

'Price.' Gail retorts flatly before directing her attentions back at Traci. 'Things are good.' Traci catches the twinkle in Gail's eyes and raises her eyebrows asking the blonde a silent question. The slight nod of the head she receives from the blonde gives the detective all the answer she needs.

'Glad to hear it.' Traci smiles at the blonde.

'What's going on between you two?' Chloe asks from across the table as Chris returns placing six beers down in the centre of the table. 'With the eyebrows and the head nodding.' Chloe explains as the other officers look on in confusion.

'Nothing.' Gail shrugs not wanting to get into this conversation with her fellow officers and certainly not with Chloe.

'Something's going on with you Peck.' Chloe giggles as Gail tries and fails miserably to hide her discomfort as she fidgets in her chair her face flushing a light shade of pink. The blonde feels herself wilting under the stares of her friends. 'We spent all of yesterday in a squad car and you only insulted me once.'

'No way!' Chris shouts in disbelief catching the attention of the people on the table beside theirs. 'Now I think about it you were whistling whilst you worked on Tuesday.' He lowers his voice a little embarrassed by his own sudden, unexpected outburst.

'Shut it Diaz.' Gail mutters catching sight of Dov and Andy staring back at her eyes wide, jaws slack. 'Nothing's going on, I'm the same as always.' Gail says. 'You guys suck.' The blonde says attempting to sound threatening but it just comes out sounding whiney.

'Cut her some slack you guys.' Traci interrupts trying to intervene sensing the blonde's discomfort and witnessing their friend's pleasure in being able to make the usually stoic blonde squirm.

'Maybe we'll ask Holly when she gets here.' Dov says smugly his eyes widening gleefully as Gail's head whips around to the door at the mention of the pathologist's imminent arrival.

'Holly's coming here?' Gail her body language immediately changing as she sits straighter in her seat her features overcome with a face splitting smile. The sudden change doesn't go unnoticed by Chloe.

'So it's to do with Holly.' Chloe informs everyone and Gail's first instinct is to kick her hard under the table in the hopes of wiping the smug look of her stupid Disney princess face. She pulls her leg back beneath her chair ready to unleash the beast but Chris' next words stop her in her tracks.

'Maybe we'll ask Holly now.' Chris says looking over the blonde's shoulder. The hairs on Gail's neck stand on end and she knows Chris isn't winding her up. Her Holly sense is tingling. Traci's eyes move back and forth between Gail and Chris at a loss for how to intervene now the Chris has the bit between his teeth.

'Hey guys.' Holly's soft dulcet tones are like music to Gail's ears.

'Holly. Hey.' Gail says and before even realising that she's done it she stands from her chair to greet the brunette even going as far as offering Holly her seat. 'Sit down, please.' The other officers around the table look between each other in surprise. What is going on with Peck at the moment? Chris nods his head in Gail's direction as the blonde pulls grabs a chair from the table beside them and sits herself down next to Holly. Dov shrugs his shoulders. Andy tries to make eye contact with Traci but the detective is avoiding her gaze.

'So Holly maybe you could help us?' Chloe asks sweetly.

'Help you with what?' Holly questions her eyes flittering around the table taking in the bemused expressions on the faces of all but one of it's occupants. Upon receiving no immediate response the brunette makes to ask Gail about her day when Chloe finally speaks.

'Gail's been all happy and,' Chloe mulls over her choice of words, 'chipper for the past couple of days. She's being very un-Gail like. She's even being nice to me. ' Chloe points her thumb at her chest. 'Chris said he heard her whistling whilst she worked.'

'Don't get used to it My Little Pony.' Gail hisses.

'And there she is.' Laughs Traci.

Holly looks at Gail sat beside her arms crossed defensively over her chest pinched expression on her face. 'She's been extra happy.' Holly drawls. Gail rolls her eyes as the brunette teases her. 'What's got you so happy Gail?' The brunette questions. Holly shifts slightly in her seat bringing her knee to rest against the blonde's both women taking such great pleasure from the smallest of touches.

'We were kind of expecting you to already have the answer to that Stewart.' Andy says in exasperation. 'What's got our very own Peck walking around with her head in the clouds?' Andy starts chuckling to herself, 'any one would think that she was in love or….'

McNally trails off as the realisation dawns on her. She watches the way Holly's hand comes to rest on the blonde's forearm. She quickly looks to Traci who is attempting, admirably, to avoid looking at the two women seated beside her. Gail uses her free hand to link her fingers with Holly's as she smiles up at the pathologist like she's not seen the brunette in years when in actual fact they've been spending every spare moment together. Andy chances a look at Dov and finds her friend and colleague also staring at the display opposite him his eyes the size of saucers. It's as if Gail and Holly are in their own little world totally unaware of everything around them.

'So, Holly.' Chris says loudly. He clears his throat gruffly to try and get the brunette's attention which is currently focused steadfast on the blonde who has shifted her chair even closer towards the brunette. 'Holly.' Chris says even louder this time. Relieved when the brunette looks his way but he doesn't miss Gail rolling her eyes in annoyance. 'Is Joanne coming tonight?'

The question is innocent enough. Unlike Traci and Gail he and the others haven't been made privy to Holly's recent change in circumstances and Chris isn't used to seeing Holly anywhere without the lawyer firmly attached to the brunette's side.

Holly's fingers slip from Gail's and her hands land ungracefully in her lap her shoulders sagging a little at the sudden change in atmosphere. Everyone is looking at her expectantly if a little nervously as the pathologist pales at the mention of the lawyer.

'Me and Joanne we erm….' Holly trails off as she runs a nervous hand through her hair. She looks to her left for support her heart warming at the encouraging look being reflected back at her. Gail's eyes always say so much, they give away exactly what the blonde is thinking or feeling and right now they're saying _you've got this. '_'We've broken up.' The brunette says her voice unwavering as there is not a single slither of doubt that she had made the wrong decision. The rest of the table's occupants sit watching Holly, stunned expressions on their faces.

'Finally.' Dov cheers literally shaking his fists in the air with joy. 'I mean no offence Holly but she was so….' He trails off as he attempts to think of the right word looking straight at Holly when he finally settles on one. 'Boring!'

Holly can feel everyone else's gazes settle on her as they nervously await her response. None of them expecting the one they are met with. Holly breaks out into a fit of giggles which builds into a hearty laugh. Holly's reaction to Dov's apt one word description of her ex-girlfriend catches the others off guard, even Gail who thought that the mention of Joanne might bring the brunette down a little but the brunette's laughing fit is contagious as the officers surrounding her also start chuckling to themselves.

'You're right.' Holly splutters out. 'She was boring.'

'So you're not upset or anything?' Andy asks as the laughter dies down. 'Weren't you two getting kind of serious?'

Holly feels Gail tense beside her, she has never been so perceptive to another human's moods before. 'I'm not upset. Joanne wasn't all that she seemed and….and….' Holly shrugs as her mind flashes with memories of the worst times she shared with Joanne and for a moment it makes her sad that those memories are probably the only ones that will stick with her. 'She didn't make me happy…we didn't make each other happy.' Holly catches herself off guard, her own honesty taking her by surprise.

'So,' Chloe begins looking suspiciously between Gail and the pathologist. 'What now?'

Holly reaches beneath the table and squeezes Gail's knee tenderly. 'Now I get to find someone who really does make me happy.' Gail flushes violently under the intensity of Holly's gaze which unfortunately for her doesn't go unmissed by Chloe.

Or Diaz, 'I'm sure you will.' He says smirking at the blonde but Gail is now snarling at Chloe and her inane levels of sunshine and happiness.

Stupid My Little Pony.

* * *

><p>Gail has never been a fan of Holly's friends. Well, that's not entirely truthful. Gail has never been a fan of Lisa. Lisa is Holly's oldest friend and Gail can't for the life of her work out what Holly gets out of this seemly one sided relationship. To say Lisa isn't Gail's biggest fan might also be one of the biggest understatements of the century. You see, Lisa is elitist, she's self-righteous, she's a self-proclaimed know it all and if that wasn't enough to top it off the women is a cosmetic plastic surgeon, her speciality, boob jobs. Gail finds the women abhorrent but if there's one thing she can't fault Lisa for it's how much she cares for Holly. Sometimes Gail wonders if the reason Lisa tries to get herself so involved in the way Holly lives her life is because the plastic surgeon has an unrequited crush on the pathologist and it doesn't matter how much money or big shot friends that Lisa has, Holly doesn't reciprocate her feelings.<p>

Gail can't help the sneer that slithers across her face whenever she has the unfortunate luck of being in her company. The police officer's distaste for Lisa has only grown in intensity over the last couple of days. Lisa loves Joanne. Lisa would always rave about the lawyer whenever Gail was within earshot, gloating. Looking back Gail realises how obvious her adoration for Holly must have been, everyone morning when she catches herself in the mirror she can see it in herself, its unmistakeable. Lisa takes great pleasure in pressing Gail's buttons and quickly realised that championing Joanne was the easiest way to ruffle the blonde's feathers.

Gail looks up from where she's seated at Holly's kitchen table the ever present butterflies in the pit of her stomach growing in excitement as she is met with Holly's face smiling down at her warmly as the pathologist places a bottled beer in front of her. Gail subconsciously slides her chair closer to the brunette's as Holly takes the seat beside the blonde. Gail is hyper aware of Lisa watching her as she watches the way Holly elegantly, gracefully, pours three bottles of far too expensive red wine, obviously brought by Lisa, into three large glasses. Holly would rather being sipping on an ice cold beer any Gail recognises the envious look in brown eyes as Holly keeps looking to the beer being delicately cradled in the blonde's hands.

'Sorry, I had to take that.' Rachel says apologetically as she stuffs her cell back into the Dior handbag that's been discarded on the breakfast bar. 'Is this mine?' Rachel enquiries as she throws back her drink consuming half the glass in one attempt.

'That's my favourite Chilean red it cost me a fortune.' Gail internally huffs as Lisa speaks. Everything is about appearances with this women.

'Well then top me up.' Rachel says winking at Gail as she gulps the rest of glass before sliding it along the table towards Lisa. Now Rachel, Rachel Gail actually quite likes. Unlike Holly who is always the diplomat Rachel thoroughly enjoys winding Lisa up which Gail loves being witness to and even better than that Rachel calls the plastic surgeon on her bullshit.

'So Gail, still intent on being a _cop?' _Lisa asks snidely a glimmer of pleasure shining through her eyes as Gail squirms with discomfort. Gal has always been proud to be a police officer but somehow Lisa manages to undermine her profession and make the blonde feel inadequate.

Squaring her shoulders Gail readies herself. 'Of course.' Gail retorts but trying to keep it simple hoping to avoid a fight, for Holly's sake more than anything else.

'Give any speeding tickets today? I know how that excites you and friends. It's the simple things with people like you.' The sneer on Lisa face turns Gail's stomach.

'Stop Lisa.' Holly sighs in exasperation. 'Why do you have to be like this?'

'I arrested a drug dealer today.' Gail interjects. 'He'd been selling drugs mixed with horse tranquillisers that had resulted in the deaths of four teenagers.' Gail takes a long drink of her cold beer. 'That's what I did today.' Gail glares across the table at Lisa feeling a sense of triumph when the surgeon is the one to look away unable to stand the intensity projected in Gail's eyes.

'Well than I say we raise our glasses to one of Toronto's finest.' Rachel holds her glass aloft towards the middle of the table swiftly followed by Holly who looks towards a blushing Gail. Holly squeezes her thighs together beneath the table unable to stop herself from wondering if Gail flushes like that when she's being touched in just the right way. 'To Gail.' Rachel cheers snapping Holly out of her inner musings. The brunette clinks her glass with Rachel, Gail and a slightly reluctant, embarrassed Lisa.

'To Gail.' Holly whispers her eyes trained on the blonde.

'So where's Joanne?' Lisa asks not liking the way Holly is looking so intently at the police officer. 'You guys are inseparable these days.' Holly visibly tenses in her seat, her body curling in on itself a defensive stance that Gail has witnessed on the many victims she has come across during her time on the force.

Keeping her eyes trained on the table Holy breaths deeply. In. Out. In. Out. 'We erm…Joanne and I…' The brunette trails off again and Gail, who can see the stress and anxiety pouring off her in waves, places the bottled beer down on the table and l closes the short distance between them sliding her chair closer still to Holly's so that their thighs are pressed flush together and she can take the brunette's hand tightly between her own. 'We broke up. I broke up with her.' Holly corrects herself.

'What?' Lisa hisses harshly. 'She's a lawyer Holly.'

'Shut up Lisa!' Both Rachel and Gail shout in tandem casting each other an appreciative glance.

Ignoring the venomous demand from the two women Lisa breaks off into an endless tirade. 'Holly she's good for.' Lisa shakes her head at Holly who stares back at her friend like she doesn't recognise her. 'She's a lawyer, she's going places. You need to be with somebody who has some ambition. Some drive. Shit Hols.'

'This is none of your business Lisa.' Rachel interjects but Lisa just keeps on going. Gail feels her blood beginning to boil and she can't bare the despondent look on Holly's face.

'You're a dick!' Gail shouts with such ferocity it stuns the other three women into silence. 'You are a massive, massive dick.' The blonde shoots up from her chair the force of her movement toppling her chair over behind her. She can't stand here for another second and listen to Lisa ramble on about how wonderful Joanne is.

'Excuse me?' Lisa asks as she slowly stands from her seat. 'Who the hell are you?'

'Guys please.' Holly pleads her head resting in her hands. Rachel looks between Lisa and Gail both with fists clenched at their sides for once she is at a loss of what to do.

'I'm Holly's-' Gail starts but is interrupted by a raging Lisa.

'You're Holly's nothing.' Lisa says coldly.

'Lisa stop.' Holly says her voice a little stronger than before.

'I know what you're doing.' Lisa folds her arms as she stares Gail down, her penetrating gaze making the hairs on Gail's neck stand on end. 'You had your chance with Holly and you blew it.' The surgeon's words hit Gail right in the gut. Lisa's gaze shifts to Holly as a look of realisation dawns on her face. 'Please tell me you and Joanne didn't split up because of her.' Lisa points at Gail a sneer coating her features a look of disappointment on her face. She's looking at Holly like a parent would a disobedient child.

'You should leave.' Holly says her voice unwaveringly calm. Inside her heart is breaking a little. Holly is unable to comprehend how one of her oldest friends, someone she always thought was on her side could be so cruel. 'Gail is the most amazing women I've ever met.' Blue eyes that are glistening with pain flitter up to look at Holly. The blonde has never had somebody stand up for her before.

'You can't be serious.' Lisa whines indignantly shaking off the hand the Rachel places on her shoulder hoping the slight physical contact will remind Lisa of where she is and that this is Holly she's turning on. 'Holly you can do so much better.'

'Better!' Holly explodes. 'What's better?'

'Holly, baby.' Gail says softly trying to calm the brunette, the term of endearment isn't missed by Rachel who looks at Gail wide eyed.

'No.' Holly huffs. 'I'm sick of this. You think Joanne is better than Gail.' Holly allows her gaze to trail over every inch of Gail's face, her full lips, strong cheekbones, her beautiful eyes. 'If better is someone who calls me names and hurts me then yes, Joanne is better than Gail.'

'Hurt you? What? Holly?' Lisa stutters not comprehending what Holly is saying to her. Joanne hurt Holly?

'Well I don't want that kind of better. I want someone who loves me without question and without ultimatums.' Holly's voice softens as he turns to look at Gail. 'I want to be with someone who makes my heart sing.' Holly steps towards the blonde bringing her thumbs up to wipe at the tears that are falling from blue eyes. 'Someone who makes my heart beat like crazy.' Gail lifts her hands gripping Holly's forearms tightly.

'Holly, we had no idea.' Rachel finally speaks up. 'Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you.'

'Gail helped me.' Holly tears her eyes away from Gail but her need for physical contact is too great and so she links her fingers with Gail's and pulls the blonde close. 'I think you should go.'

'Holly, please.' Lisa pleads her once steely demeanour has transformed into that of a defeated women.

'Not tonight.' Holly releases Gail's hand as she walks across the room and pulls the front door open nodding her head toward the open door. 'I need you to go.' Knowing that she won't be able to change the pathologists mind Lisa swipes her hand bag up from the breakfast bar and rushes towards the exit stopping briefly at the door throwing one final look back at Holly and offering her a sad smile hoping that it goes someway to showing the brunette how sorry she is.

'Call me.' Rachel says as she approaches Holly leaning in for a hug grateful to have it returned. 'Look after her.' Rachel calls towards Gail receiving a slight nod of the head in acknowledgment. With one final squeeze of Holly's hand Rachel turns on her heal and briskly walks from the apartment.

Closing the door gently behind her Holly turns to face Gail.

And then there were two.

'I'm so sorry Gail.' Holly holds her hand in front of her mouth as she tries to swallow down the lump in her throat. She just can't cry anymore. 'Gail….' Holly whispers. The blonde doesn't respond as she takes steady even steps across the room until she is barely a foot away from Holly. 'You aren't nothing Gail.' Holly pleads misinterpreting the blonde's silence as rejection. 'I don't agree with what she says about you and I don't care what she thinks.' The tears are building again at the back of brown eyes.

'Shhh.' Gail interjects as she tries to look at every perfectly sculptured feature at once. 'I know.' Gail leans in and runs her nose along the length of the brunette's breathing in her sweet scent her stomach flip flopping at the soft hum that rises from somewhere deep inside the pathologist. Holly's eye close, the intensity of this moment, having Gail so close, so close that she can almost taste her is overwhelming. It's too much. Almost.

And then it happens.

This was their moment.

Gail's lips press against Holly's. The faintest of touches. Eyes closed their lips lock together finally and it's magic. It's everything Gail has imagined it would be. It feels like an eternity since the first time she kissed Holly and it all comes flooding back, that kiss in the interrogation room. Now that she is kissing Holly again feeling her plush, warm lips fluttering against her own Gail doesn't know how she went ten months without feeling Holly's lips pressed against her own. She'll never wait that long again, she doesn't want to go a day, an hour, a second without feeling Holly's body pressed tightly against her own the brunette's hands squeezing her slender hips sending a warm tingle all the way along the length of the blonde's spine.

Holly's lips are like nothing that Gail has ever felt before. Her kiss is so warm, so passionate everything that kissing _the_ person should be. The only thought running through Gail's mind as Holly's deft fingers slip beneath her sweater and trace the sensitive skin at the bottom of her spine is made up of three simple words:

_I love you._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Ahh, I hope that was okay.<em>**


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Six**

For the umpteenth time today Gail checks the time on her custom issue police watch. She sighs deeply when she finds that the she still has to withstand a further forty seven minutes until her shift ends and she can finally see Holly again. Gail has spent the last couple of days meticulously planning their first date. The date. Gail has never planned a date before, not for anybody. In all honesty she never really cared enough to make the effort but she wants to impress Holly. Gail knows how Holly feels about her, the brunette is incredibly transparent with her feelings for the blonde but that doesn't mean that Gail is going to sit back and rest on her laurels. She wants to take Holly on the perfect date for Holly. Gail checks her watch again.

'Holy moly Peck way to make a guy feel special.' Oliver pouts playfully earning a reluctant chuckle from the blonde. If there's one other person in the world that Gail feels she can truly be herself with other than Holly it could only be Oliver.

'Sorry, Oliver.' Gail flushes. 'I've just got a thing tonight and-'

'You're finally taking Holly on a date.' Oliver states matter of fact as their car slows to a stop at a red light. A young women pushing a pram passes by in front of them. 'It's about time little Peckling. This has been the longest, slowest burn in the history of long, slow burny things.'

'We're just friends.' Gail snaps. She isn't ashamed of her feelings for Holly, not anymore. She has made a promise to herself that she won't let any of her stupid hang ups get in the way of her finding real happiness with the brunette but that doesn't mean she wants everyone knowing about it, not yet. If everyone knows about it, it puts pressure on them. If there is one thing that Gail hates it's being on show. Her friends at fifteen will be watching her, watching them, there's nothing that they love more than witnessing Gail Peck trying to navigate a relationship.

'Don't do that Gail.' Oliver says eyebrows raised his head shaking from side to side and Gail feels like she's being scolded. The blonde shrinks back into the passenger seat folding her arms across her chest missing the affectionate twinkle that Oliver gets in his eye. This is his favourite Gail. Embarrassed, indignant Gail.

'How do you know I'm taking Holly on a date?' Gail asks the shock evident in her tone. 'Nobody know about it. Except Traci,' Gail concedes, 'but I know she won't have told anybody not even Steve.'

'You don't need to have told anybody.' Oliver says as he puts the car into gear. 'You think you're all mysterious and Poe faced Peck but you aren't. Not at all.' He allows his gaze to flicker briefly from the road to Gail and then back again not surprised to find the blonde slouched back in her seat her signature adolescent sneer plastered across her face.

'Well go on then.' Gail instructs expectantly. 'I can't have all of those morons at the station noticing things about me.'

'Those morons are your friends.' Oliver reminds her good naturedly. He loves the blonde's snarky attitude and he especially loves that he is one of the few people that gets to see her softer side, he feels honoured.

'Whatever.' The blonde mutters.

Oliver clears his throat dramatically in preparation and Gail rolls her eyes forcibly holding back the smile that is threatening to break out as a result of Oliver's amateur dramatics. 'I knew things were moving in the right direction with you and the lovely Dr. Stewart for several reasons.' He wriggles his eyebrows and the smile that was threatening to break free from Gail finally does. 'You're being nice to Chloe. You shared your cheesy puffs with Diaz yesterday.' Gail's eyes widen as she realises that she did in fact do that. She's horrified. 'But the big reason, the main reason.' Oliver pauses for suspense as Gail hangs on his every word. 'You can't stop talking about her.' The blonde furrows her brow in confusion. 'And you don't even realise that you're doing it darlin'.'

Gail curls further back into her seat as her actions from the last couple of days filter through her mind. She has been talking about the brunette a lot. Clearly Holly's been on her mind, the only thing on her mind if she's truly honest with herself. 'I'm sorry.' Gail offers shyly.

'Don't be sorry.' Oliver smiles back at her, the ever present twinkle in his eyes insantly putting Gail at ease. 'It's good. It's great in fact. The Doc's lucky to have you Peck.'

'I think I'm the lucky one.' Gail says softly an image of a radiant Holly once again invading her thoughts.

'So, what's the plan?' Oliver asks. 'Come on Gail, I know you and I know how much Holly means to you.' He tells an increasingly bashful Gail. 'You've definitely got something crazy amazing planned. So spill.'

Gail smiles ruefully and does just as Oliver instructs.

* * *

><p>Gail keeps going over and over her plan in her head. She wants tonight to be all about Holly. This isn't about scoring points. Gail would happily take the brunette to the most expensive restaurant in Toronto if she thought that was what Holly would want, but she knows Holly, she knows Holly better than she's ever known anyone before and it's that single realisation that gives Gail confidence in her date planning abilities.<p>

Taking one last look at her reflection in her cell phone screen Gail takes a deep breath, slides her phone into her back pocket and knocks on the blue door that looms over her. For a few moments she hears nothing and for one terrifying second the thought that Holly may not answer makes the blonde's heart stop. Then she hears it, the sound of Holly shuffling around on the other side of the door. Gail quickly runs her hand through her hair trying to control the ever present cow's lick that is her fringe. The blonde drops her hand to her sides her nails digging into her thighs through her jeans and she holds her breath as she hears Holly fumbling with the lock until finally the door slides open and fireworks explode deep in the depths of Gail's heart.

Holly looks wonderful.

The smile on the brunette's face could light up the whole of Canada, Gail is certain of that. 'You look- you really look-' The blonde stutters and splutters over her words as she takes in the vision before her. Holly is wearing a moss green knee length dress, her legs for days on tantalising display and Gail can't wait until the day she gets to run her hands along the full length of them and feel the soft skin quiver beneath her fingertips. The coy smile on Holy's face mixed with the fluttering of eye lashes as brown eyes look to her is enough to make Gail's heart fly. She takes a deep, steadying breath, 'you look wonderful,' Gail is finally able to utter.

'Thanks.' Holly says sweetly as she tucks her hair behind her ears. The brunette isn't wearing her glasses tonight and Gail can't stop herself from falling into brown eyes. 'You look beautiful.' They both fall into a comfortable silence content with the opportunity to just be able to look at one another.

'You ready to go?' Gail asks breaking the spell they have both willingly fallen under. 'Your carriage awaits.' Holly laughs sweetly as Gail stands to attention at the front door and presents her arm to the brunette to hold. 'You won't be needing that.' Gail indicates to the purse that Holly is about to place into her bag. 'Tonight's completely on me.'

'Are you sure.' Holly asks the surprise evident in her tone. She hates to be thinking about Joanne in any way, tonight of all nights, but she can't help but compare the way she feels right now, as she is about to embark on her first date with Gail, to the way she felt on the very rare occasion when Joanne took her out. Gail smiles brightly at the brunette as Holly closes the door behind her and links her arm through the blonde's her blue eyes sparkling with what Holly can only describe as adoration and it makes her heart feel so warm as if filled to the brim with joy.

Holly continues to watch on in amusement as Gail races a couple of steps ahead and pulls open the door to her Ford Focus. 'Why thank you kind sir.' Holly teases as Gail rolls her eyes playfully.

'The pleasure is mine good lady.' Gail retorts to Holly's absolute delight. Holly gets herself settled into the passenger seat overwhelmed to finally be here in this moment with Gail. 'So where are you taking me officer?' The pathologist asks.

'You'll just have to wait and see.' Gail says an essence of pride evident in her tone. Gail is proud. She's proud that she's planned something that Holly will love and she's proud that she's the cause of the childlike excitement radiating from every fibre of Holly's person. Gail is, for the first time in her life, proud of herself but that doesn't mean that she's taking tonight for granted. She's nervous. Her palms are sweating as she grips the steering wheel tightly between two fists. Her heart is pulsating in her chest. She's terrified but she loves every single second of it. This is how it should be. Sweaty hands, beating heart, it's these reactions that make Gail so certain, so unabashedly sure that Holly is the one for her.

Gail can feel Holly's eye on her throughout the short journey to their destination. She feels brown orbs burning into the side of her face and she can't help but turn her eyes away from the road every now and then and look at the brunette, taking her in. Unlike Gail, Holly has always been happy to share her feelings, to be honest about how she feels. The only time that Holly has ever kept her emotions in check, when Holly hasn't been completely open and honest is when it's come to her feelings with Gail. For ten months Holly kept her feelings to herself as best she could but now that she gets to be open with her heart the brunette isn't going to waste this opportunity because she'll never have another first date with Gail again. So Holly stares, and she watches and takes in every minute detail that makes Gail, Gail.

Gail indicates and turns the car into a large car park that's half full with cars of different shapes and sizes and the brunette's jaw falls open. 'I can't believe that you brought me here.' Holly squeals as she looks up at the giant sign that sits proudly over the entrance of the building made almost entirely of glass, _Ripley's Aquarium. '_I used to love this place when I was a kid, my dad would always bring me here for my birthday.' Gail's heart melts at the awe and adulation shimmering in Holly's eyes her signature lop sided smile growing exponentially with each passing second.

'I remember you telling me about it the night you got your article published.' Gail shrugs her shoulders and rubs at the back of her neck with her now free hand as she brings the car to a standstill.

'You remembered.' Holly states her voice barely above a whisper.

'Of course.' Gail utters. 'I remember everything you tell me Holly.' The brunette can't find the words to respond to such a beautiful sentiment so instead she lifts her palm to cup Gail jaw and runs her thumb back and forth across the blonde's cheekbone. The butterflies that seem to have taken up permanent residence in the blonde's stomach begin fluttering wildly again.

They both amble out of the car and Gail walks around to meet Holly. They both share a shy gaze as they turn and make their way towards the entrance their elbows bumping together due to their close proximity. Gail battles with herself as she decides whether or not to reach for the brunette's hand and take it with her own but the decision is quickly made for her as Holly expertly links her fingers with the blonde's holding them loosely. Gail looks down at their joined hands a feeling of warmth spreading along the length of her arm right to the very tips of her fingers.

The instant they set foot inside the aquarium Gail can't help but be flooded with such an overwhelming sense of relief because she immediately knows she's done good. This may just be the most magical date that Gail has ever been on. Holly practically skips around the aquarium her eyes lighting up like a child at Christmas each new fish she's greeted with drawing more excitement for her than the one before. Holly can't tear her eyes away from the fish that adorn the walls and ceilings of the aquarium but Gail, Gail can't tear her eyes away from Holly.

For the first time since they began their tour Holly releases Gail's hand and bounds over to the glass wall that houses the habitat of a school or stingrays. 'These were always my favourite.' Holly says briefly looking over her shoulder at Gail who has taken a seat on the bench that occupies the centre of the room just happy to watch Holly take everything in.

'Yeah?' Gail asks eyes sparkling as Holly waltzes over to her and drops down onto the bench beside the blonde.

'My dad loved them. He used to tell me all this cool stuff about them.'

'Like what?' Gail asks taking in Holly's perfect profile, the long luscious eye lashes the smooth slope of her nose those sweet, sweet lips that Gail is oh so desperate to taste again.

'You really want to know?' Holly says eyebrows raised. 'I thought you weren't into the nerdy stuff.' Holly teases the blonde.

'I think we both know that I'm without a doubt into the nerdy.' Gail says a little nervously. Even though she trusts Holly implicitly there is still a little part of her that's scared to be vulnerable and she doesn't know if that part of her will ever completely go away.

'Very nice.' Holly chuckles full of mirth quickly catching onto Gail's not so subtle innuendo. 'Well,' Holly begins, 'It might surprise you to know that the stingray can weight upwards of seven hundred and ninety pounds.' Gail's eyes widen in shock as she nods her head clearly impressed. 'And did you know that the stingray's skeleton isn't made of bone, it's made completely of cartilage?' Holly's heart sores as Gail's head rests against her shoulder and she can't help but rest her chin against short blonde locks and breath in deeply in an attempt to calm her raging heart. As they both sit in silence it's only then that Holly realises that they're alone, there's no one else in sight, it's just the two of them, exactly the way Holly likes it.

'Tell me more.' Gail whispers as she watches two stingrays swim overhead, their movements perfectly synchronised as they move through the water with such guile and grace. Soulmates.

'Let me think.' Holly says smiling against the blonde's hairline as a thought comes to her.' I know one you'll like. Stingray's have venom in their tails which they use to protect themselves.' Gail hums in acknowledgement. 'That's not the best part. The venom remains deadly even if the stingray that it's being extracted from is dead.'

'Wow. That's awesome.' Gail says with such sincerity that it catches Holly off guard.

'Really?' Holly asks surprise evident in her voice.

Gail lifts her head and shrugs. 'I love hearing you talk about the stuff you're passionate about. It's nice.' Gail finishes shyly. 'You really care about stuff and I like that.'

Holly takes a moment to contemplate Gail's words before finally speaking. 'Do you know what I'm most passionate about?' Blue eyes watch as Holly keeps her gaze trained on the stingrays swimming elegantly overhead and looking as relaxed as Gail has ever seen her. The police officer can see the hint of a smile tugging at the brunette's lips and she can't over how high school this all feels as Holly curls her little finger around Gail's their hands resting side by side on the bench. It has all turned very high school, shy glances, barely there touches, fluttering hearts, and Gail loves it. 'You.'

'Are you admitting that you're sweet on me Stewart?' Gail asks the joy shinning in her eyes.

'I am.' Holly sighs. 'I really, really am.' As blue eyes disappear behind the most beautifully created eye lids that Holly has ever seen the brunette takes a moment to bask in another perfect moment with Gail. Shaking her head in disbelief the smile she has had perfectly etched on her face all evening still firmly in place Holly leans forward the few remaining inches and presses her lips to Gail's.

Heaven.

* * *

><p>They both look down at the floor between them Holly's hands clamped firmly to her sides as Gail rubs nervously at the back over neck and bites furiously at her bottom lip. This has been the single most wonderful night of Gail's life. She knows that if her friends could see her now, had seen the way she had behaved this evening, they'd be ribbing the hell out of her. Not that she'd care.<p>

Holly hasn't stopped thanking Gail for planning such a wonderful night from the moment they left the aquarium. The brunette's smile had grown even further, a fete Gail didn't believe to be possible, when they ended up at a local diner sat side by side squashed into the smallest corner booth Gail was able to scope out and shared a plate of curly fries and the biggest Knickerbocker glory that either of them had ever seen. As they'd sat there, thighs pressed together with Gail's arm hanging loosely across the back of the booth, the energy whirling between them began to grow and change into something much more than they could have anticipated after a single date.

Now, as Gail stands here at Holly's front door, all she can focus on is this energy and how it's making it almost impossible for her to contemplate walking away from the brunette and putting an end to this perfect evening.

'I don't want to go.' Gail whispers. The brunette finally looks up and takes in the way Gail's eyes are looking anywhere but at her a tell-tale sign that the blonde is feeling overwhelmed. Normally Holly would take a step back because she knows that under normal circumstances, when it comes to fight or flight, Gail is a flight kind of girl. But tonight, right here in this moment, Holly can't help herself. Reaching out her hand Holly gently lifts the blonde's chin until she catches sight of those oh so blue eyes and keeps her hand there until she's certain that Gail isn't going to look away.

'Then stay.'

'Holly,' Gail says, her voice trembling, 'I want to stay. I do.'

'Then stay.' Holly repeats her voice gentle as she steps closer to the blonde and rests her hands tentatively on Gail's hips giving her a reassuring squeeze.

'Holly.' Gail warns desperately her nostrils flaring as she breathes in deeply. 'Can I kiss you?' The sudden change to the blonde's tone catches Holly off guard and all she can do is nod. That's all the answer Gail needs and before the brunette has time to ready herself Gail swoops forward.

Gail's lips slam against Holly's as she presses the brunette back against the door. Holly moans deeply, the sensations Gail is igniting within her are indescribable. A powerful wave of arousal hits her with such force she can already feel herself becoming light-headed and she can't help but wonder what she will feel if she and Gail ever completely give themselves to one another.

Holly feels the muscles of Gail's shoulders tense as her hands run up along the blonde's arms and around her neck. An explosion of feelings threaten to pull Gail under even though in the back of her mind she knows that this could be too much too soon but for Gail it's felt like ten months of fore play that has led them to this point. Gail is more than ready. They both are.

Gail runs her hands across Holly's rib cage, over her stomach and down to her upper thighs where they discover soft, warm skin as her hands, which appear to have a mind of their now, bunch up the brunette's dress so that her fingertips are able to explore more freely. 'God, Gail.' Holly hisses. Her warm breath spilling out across Gail's lips causing a ripple of pleasure to engulf the blonde as she deepens their kiss.

Gail is losing what little shred of self-control that she has left but that voice in the back of her mind is still nagging at her, telling her it's too soon for Holly. Using every bit of will power that she can muster Gail separates herself from Holly but the sight of the brunette wide eyed and chest heaving with arousal nearly sends Gail tumbling back in, nearly.

Taking a further step back Gail takes several deep breathes as she and Holly continue to stare at each other.

'Not yet.' Gail whispers. 'I want. I really do but…not yet.'

'You're right. I know you are.' Holly says her voice heavy. Sighing deeply the brunette runs a hand through her hair as she tries to control her pounding heart. 'Soon?' Holly asks shyly.

'Soon.' Gail promises. There's no point in pretending, she's drawn to Holly. This pull between them is undeniable. Allowing herself one last opportunity to take Holly in Gail quickly leans forward and places a firm kiss to Holly's awaiting lips. 'Thank you. For everything. Goodnight Holly.' Taking one last tentative look Gail begins to back away from the brunette taking a few steps before turning on her heal and forcing herself to leave.

Holly falls back against the door fingers pressed to her bruised lips. The realisation of what has just transpired between bringing a giddy smile to her face. Holly thought she had experienced passion before.

She hadn't.

What she just experienced with Gail…that was passion.

_And love._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry I haven't responded to any reviews the last couple of chapter. I vow to do just that for this next chapter.<em>**

**_Enjoy_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Seven**

Holly holds the steaming cup of coffee tightly between her hands the aroma of the exotic, and Holly assumes incredibly expensive, beans filling her nostrils. Brown eyes keep flicking across the table to the anxious women sitting nervously opposite her. 'You shouldn't do that.' Holly murmurs as her companion picks at her nails a sure fire indication that she is feeling nervous. Lisa shrugs her shoulders but does as she's told. Picking her nails is a habit that she's had as long as she can remember it helps focus her nervous energy on something other than what's going on in front of her. Now, now she's really nervous. Lisa knows that she has royally fucked up.

'I was really pleased to hear from you Hols.'

'We needed to talk.' Holly brings her mug to her lips and takes a careful sip of the hot liquid. 'You can't do this anymore.'

'I'm just looking out for you Holly.' Lisa says desperately. 'I want what's best for you. We're family.'

'You are my family Lisa.' Holly says, a half smile pulling at the corner of her lips. 'But that doesn't give you the right to make demands on how I live my life. You can't dictate who I should and shouldn't be with.'

'Holly I don't. That's not what I'm-'

'I love Gail.' Holly's words stop Lisa dead her eyes locking onto the brunette's. The pathologist runs her hand through tousled hair. 'Don't you have anything to say?' Holly asks as Lisa's mouth hangs open in shock.

'What do you want me to say?' Lisa asks surprise still evident in her tone. 'I knew you liked her but I didn't realise that you, you know….' The surgeon trails off. 'Is this all because of Joanne?'

Holly's eyebrows shoot up her eyes widening in shock. 'Are you kidding me?' The brunette pushes herself up from the table and glares down at Lisa. 'You think my feelings for Gail are just a result of all of the drama with Joanne? I can't believe you.' Holly turns her back on Lisa crossing her arms over her chest as she stares out of the back door window. Silence descends upon them. Holly keeps her eyes trained outside unable to look at Lisa even when she senses movement behind her and then feels the surgeon's presence beside her.

'You love her.' Lisa states.

'I love her.'

'I just think you deserve the best Holly.' The pathologist scoffs at Lisa's words.

'Is that supposed to excuse the awful things you say about Gail? I don't know why you have such a problem with her.' Lisa opens her mouth to try and offer an explanation but Holly is on a roll. 'Maybe she is the best thing for me, have you ever thought about that, even contemplated the idea that Gail could be the_ everything _I need and then some? Well, have you?'

'You guys just seem like complete opposites.' Lisa holds her arms out at her sides as she grasps for some kind, any kind, of reasoning but not finding much of anything. The surgeon sighs deeply and rubs at her exhausted eyes, this fight with Holly has taken its toll on her and she can't handle the thought of enduring another week of radio silence. 'I'm a snob.' Lisa admits her honesty catching Holly off guard. Lisa can't help but feel a sense of relief as Holly finally turns to look at her. 'I'm a snob and….' She trails off. 'I'm jealous okay.'

Holly's eyes widen in shock. 'Lisa you're not….I mean we're friends and I love you, as a friend.' Holly quickly elaborates. 'But I'm not-'

Lisa's face twists in a confusion for a second before the realisation dawns and she quickly interjects. 'Jesus, Holly no!' The surgeon laughs at Holly's face distorted with anxiety a soft pink flush coating her cheeks. 'I'm not in love with you. You're totally not my type. You're all.' She looks Holly up and down. 'Librarian-y and stuff and I'm more into the slutty-chic type of women.

'Slutty-chic?' Holly roars with laughter and Lisa suddenly realises how much she's missed this. 'Is that even a thing?'

'Lisa wriggles her eyebrows. 'Oh trust me, it's a thing.'

'You're crazy.' Holly chuckles and she feels the huge crack that has recently formed in their relationship repair itself just a little. But as they fall into another stretched silence and brown eyes return to the back yard catching sight of a squirrel as it scuttles up the large fir tree Holly realises that it still isn't enough. 'We can't be okay though. Not if you won't accept my relationship with Gail.'

'You're relationship?' Holly rolls her eyes that that's the only part Lisa has picked up on.

'We're dating.' Lisa's eyes widen, surprised that Gail finally had the balls to make a move. One of Lisa's biggest problems with Gail is that she hurt Holly because she wasn't brave enough to stand up and admit her feelings hurting Holly in the process. 'She took me to the aquarium. We spent ages looking at the stingrays and then she took me out for ice cream at an old style American diner.'

Lisa smiles softly to herself admittedly a little impressed, _not bad Peck. Not bad at all._

'She wants to be with me…' Holly trails off suddenly feeling a little nervous under the scrutiny of Lisa's gaze.

'She tell you that?'

'Yea. Yes. She told me that.' Holly is unable to keep the smile from her face as the memory of Gail admitting her feelings to the brunette replays in Holly's mind.

'You're sure she means it?' Lisa asks. 'I'm not having ago I promise you Hols.' Lisa holds her hands up in defence quickly reaching out to grab the brunette's arm as Holly turns to leave. 'I just don't want you getting hurt again. Gail hurt you before and then with everything that's happened with Joanne I just don't want you getting your hopes up okay?' Lisa's words are said with such sincerity that Holly can't help but believe her. The surgeon releases her grip on Holly's arm once she's sure that the brunette isn't going to bolt.

'I feel it, Lisa.' Holly rolls her eyes at her own sentimentality. 'When she looks at me I-I-I…It's hard to explain you know?'

'Just take your time. I've got all day. I owe you right?'

Holly closes her eyes for a few moments just the thought of Gail, the vision of the blonde smiling embedded in her mind, causing a tidal wave of warmth to engulf her from the inside out. 'She looks at me like I'm the best thing in the world. Normally her eyes are so cold and closed off, but with me…' Holly trails off as she grasps desperately for the right words knowing that whatever she says will come up short. 'With me her eyes sparkle.' Holly waits a moment expecting a sarcastic retort from Lisa but when one isn't forth coming she allows herself to continue. 'The way she makes me feel, well, I've never felt this way before. She makes me feel safe and so, so happy Lisa. She makes me so happy.' Holly looks at her oldest friend imploringly. 'When she touches me it's-'

'Okay Stewart.' Lisa nudges Holly's hip with her own. 'I don't need to hear about how she touches you. I'm pleased for you.' Holly looks at Lisa sceptically. 'I am. If she makes you happy than that's good enough for me.'

'Are you sure? Because if you aren't then-'

'I promise.' Lisa interjects. 'You should bring her to the party in a couple of weeks. I only turn 33 once.'

'We'll both be here with bells on.' Holly nods her head. 'So you think I give off the librarian vibe?' Holly asks a twinkle in her eye.

'Well yea. With the button up shirts and the glasses.' Lisa retorts smug smile firmly in place.

'Well Gail likes it.'

'Gail's weird then.' Lisa's smirks at the shocked expression on Holly's face. The brunette lunges forward managing to manoeuvre Lisa into a head lock allowing the brunette to furiously rub her knuckles backwards and forwards across the surgeons head her height advantage paying dividends. 'Hey no don't. Holly you jerk.'

'Call this payback boob job!' Holly yells triumphantly.

'Boob job?' Lisa asks as she continues to struggle against the hold Holly has on her.

'You can thank Gail for that one.' Holly laughs as Lisa struggles against her without success. 'She's very creative when it comes to nicknames.'

* * *

><p>Steve watches his sister closely. To the untrained eye it would appear that Gail is concentrating closely on the monitor in front of her. The blonde certainly looks the part. Black beanie hat sitting snuggly atop her head, black leather jacket in place, combat boots on she certainly looks the part but the blonde isn't really here and Steve can make a pretty handy guess as to why that is and more importantly where her head is at right now. She's looking at the monitor but she isn't watching it her mind is certainly elsewhere.<p>

Steve rips a slither of paper from the label that's wrapped around his bottle of water and rolls it between his thumb and fore finger. In one sharp, sudden movement Steve hurls the paper at Gail hitting her in the back of the neck. Steve holds his breath as he quickly turns his gaze back to his own monitor trying to hold back the laughter that's building from the back of his throat. The detective sits absolutely still as Gail whips round on her stool and eyes her brother suspiciously. Once Steve is sure that the blonde's gaze has returned to her monitor Steve sneakily looks at his sister from the corner of his eye. Convinced that Gail's attention is no longer focused on him Steve slowly peels another strip of paper from the label swivelling round on his stool he raises his arm ready to throw his home made missile when-

'Drop it big brother.' Gail hisses making a conscious effort to keep her voice down not wanting to draw any attention to their surveillance van. 'What the hell are you doing?' The blonde demands to know.

'I'm just playing.' Steve lowers his arm boyish smile firmly in place.

'What are you five? We're on a job you ass.' Gail shakes her head at her brother the seriousness in her tone taking Steve a little by surprise.

'Wouldn't know with the way you're acting.' Steve sulks sliding his stool along the floor towards Gail smiling apologetically when he over eggs it somewhat and bumps shoulders with the blonde. 'Where's your head at tonight.'

'Nowhere.' Gail snaps eyes once again trained on the image of the warehouse being projected from her monitor.

'Something you want to share with me little sister?' Steve prods deciding not to beat around the proverbial bush. Gail looks back over her shoulder at Steve. Blonde eyes sharpen as Gail looks intently at her brother daring him to try and push her. 'Traci told me.'

'Jesus fucking Christ, Nash.' Gail brings her hands up and slaps her palms down on her thighs in frustration knowing immediately what Steve is referring to. 'Is nothing sacred anymore?'

'You didn't want me to know?' Steve asks his hurt projected in the question.

'It's not that.' Gail sighs her gaze softening. 'It's barely been a week and I don't want anything messing it up.'

Steve takes a moment pondering his next question. 'Why would people knowing mess things up for you and Holly?' Gail's back straightens at the mention of the brunette, the hairs on her neck standing on end and Gail can't help but wonder if just a simple mention of Holly will always make her feel this way. She hopes she brings about the same reaction in the brunette.

'People like to get overly involved.'

'They're just interested. They care about you Gail.' Steve says referring to their colleagues at fifteen.

'I just want to be able to enjoy it a little bit more just me and Holly before the outside world gets involved.'

'Okay. If that's what you want.' Steve says as he slides back across the floor to sit in front of his own monitor showing a close up of the warehouse's front entrance. The siblings fall into a brief silence before Steve speaks up again. 'Is Holly coming with you to the Peck family dinner tomorrow night?'

'Of course she is.' Gail says flippantly. 'She always comes why would tomorrow be any different? You know mom loves her more than you and me.'

'Well for the past year she's been attending as you're friend but now it's different.' Gail turns to meet her brother's eyes waiting for him to explain. 'Tomorrow she'll be there as the daughter-in-law.' Gail picks up her empty water bottle from floor and hurls it at her brother who only just manages to dodge the object as it hurtles through the air.

'Shit Gail.' Steve says in disbelief which quickly turns into quiet laughter. 'I'm just saying it's written all over your face now. You look all happy and dare I say it, in love.' Steve twists his face into a look of mock disgust. 'I'm not saying it's a bad thing. In fact I think it's pretty great. Being in love looks good on you.' Gail pulls her beanie from her head ruffling the short blonde hair that's been flattened to her head. 'If you don't want mom and dad to find out about you two yet you're going to have to work on that.'

'I don't even realise I'm doing it.' Gail opens up to Steve. 'You know what it's like.' Gail says referring to her brother's relationship with Traci. 'I just….she's everything, you know?'

'I know.' Steve smiles warmly at his sister before something over her shoulder catches his eye. 'We've got movement.' Steve hisses quickly as Gail grabs the walkie talkie that's clipped to the back of her jeans. Gail keeps her eyes trained on her brother waiting on a knife edge for him to give her the word.

Steve stares unblinkingly at the monitor in front of him a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth when three men get out of a black BMW. 'Gotcha.' The detective whispers. 'Hold it, hold it….' Steve holds his hand out to Gail making sure she holds off until they're inside the warehouse. 'Make the call.'

'All units. Go. Go. Go!' Gail bellow into the walkie talkie as she and Steve burst from the back of the surveillance van and race towards the warehouse. Gail is vaguely aware of her fellow police officers hot on her heels but all she is focusing on is the warehouse in front of her and the way her stab vest rubs at her neck. The weight of the firearm in her hands.

She loves this rush.

* * *

><p>Holly grips the material beneath her hands twisting it tightly between her fingers tugging gently at the jumper. The feel of strong hands leisurely running up and down the length of her back causes her grip to tighten further as she desperately searches for something to anchor herself. Holly is so overcome with feelings of lust and arousal making her feel so light that she isn't sure that gravity alone will be able to keep her from floating away.<p>

'We're going to be late to dinner.' Holly hisses as teeth nip at her exposed neck. Gail ignores the brunette's word, too mesmerised by the women currently straddling her atop Holly's plush sofa. Pulling back for a moment Gail finds herself studying the brunette, those incredibly expressive brown eyes and her lips bruised from the intense kisses that they are indulging in. Holly is a sight for sore eyes, she is stunning and Gail is unequivocally lost in her.

They have been on three dates now and Gail is finding it increasingly difficult to control herself so tonight when Gail arrived thirty minutes early to pick Holly up for their monthly visit to the Peck parent's abode the blonde was unable to control herself. Holly was carefully buttoning up her shirt as she opened the door to Gail the police officer's mouth went dry and she internally patted herself on the back for making the decision to rush straight over here from work, there was no way she was going to be able to get through a night with her parents having to hide her relationship with Holly from them without getting to kiss the brunette first. So that's exactly what they did and now here they are…

'Stop talking, more kissing.' Gail sighs ignoring the brunette's challenging expression instead grabbing a handful of Holly's shirt Gail pulls the pathologist flush against her unable to prevent the moan that explodes from deep within her throat due to the full body contact. Holly hums in pleasure closing her eyes as their lips began to move together in a slow, torturous dance.

'You're so bad officer.' Holly manages to utter between kisses the use of Gail's formal title causing a surge of arousal to shoot through the blonde's body. Holly's heart pounds in her chest as their kisses morph from slow and sensual to furiously passionate. The pathologist presses her lips more firmly against Gail's and soon the stirring of arousal that she felt in the depths of her stomach becomes overwhelming so she pushes forward further. Holly feels an intense thrill as Gail's tongue pushes past her lips and meet her own in a seductive dance both fighting for dominance.

'You love it when I'm bad, don't you Doctor.' Holly shivers with excitement at Gail's words. Holly's thighs tightened on either side of Gail's hips. Grasping the blonde's wrist Holly raises Gail's hand and presses it firmly against her breast her back arching violently at the contact. Once she's sure that the blonde isn't going to pull away Holly releases her grip on Gail's wrist and allows the police officer to freely explore her chest.

'Shit, Gail.' Holly hisses as the blonde lifts her other hand and takes a firm grasp of both breasts tugging and pushing at them gently. Gail thumbs the brunette's nipples as Holly leans back pushing her chest forwards her hands coming to rest back against the blonde's knees. 'Oh my God…' Holly husks.

Holly's hips begin to roll down against Gail's and then any semblance of control that Gail may have had is gone. She rolls her own hips upwards to meet Holly's movements. The blonde's head falls back against the sofa as her hands fall from heaving breasts to grip Holly's hips encouraging the brunette's sensual movements. The blonde's hands slip beneath Holly's shirt to meet the soft flesh of her hips. Holly moans deeply at the contact. It's not enough for Gail, she needs to feel more, touch more.

With trembling fingers Gail removes her hands from the brunette's hips causing Holly to groan in disappointment but the brunette's irritation at the loss of contact doesn't last long. Slowly Gail lifts her fingers to the buttons of Holly's shirt. It feels like an eternity and Gail can feel herself getting flustered, her shaking fingers preventing her from divesting Holly of her shirt as quickly as she would like, eventually the blonde manages to undo the first three buttons and the sight she is met with causes all of her breath to rush from her lungs leaving her stranded gasping for air

The brunette stares down at the blonde with hooded eyes. Her normally chocolate brown eyes are nearly black with arousal. The way her shirt now hangs off her shoulders with her delicious cleavage on display is causing the arousal to surge through Gail taking up refuge between her legs. Holly doesn't miss the hungry expression on Gail's face as the blonde's eyes dance across her newly exposed chest. 'You're gorgeous.' Gail says huskily as she drinks in the sight of Holly. The deep purple bra keeping the brunette's chest hidden is doing nothing to quench her desire only adding to it. 'Tell me this isn't too soon.' Gail demands her eyes flicking up to meet Holly's gaze.

'I've waited over a year for this. It's not too soon.' Gail smiles softly at Holly's sincerity.

'You asked for it Stewart.' Holly's joyful squeals fill the apartment as Gail flips her over. Holly is now laying down on the sofa Gail's lithe body pressing down on top of her own. Gail wastes no time in pressing her lips to Holly's exposed cleavage. Holly moans her approval at each press of Gail's mouth to her heated flesh. The brunette's head presses back into the cushion the pleasure that Gail is creating within her is all consuming. Holly can't believe that it's Gail making her feel this way. Desperate hands grab at short blonde locks as Gail begins to suck and tug at Holly's breasts through her bra.

'Gail…please, Gail.' Holly moans as the blonde forces her bra over her breasts exposing the brunette's aching nipples to the cool air. The pathologist whimpers as Gail shuffles down the sofa a little further and her warm breath ghosts over her heaving breasts. Not wanting to tease the brunette any longer, or herself for that matter, Gail swoops down and takes the quivering pink bud in her hot, wet mouth. Holly whimpers in pleasure as she pulls the blonde even closer until there isn't an inch of space between them.

'Shit.' Gail hisses her sudden movement as she gets off the sofa and reaches for her phone is like ice cold water being thrown over the brunette. Holly's thighs are still quivering, the moisture in her knickers undeniable as she tries to catch her breath. The brunette can just about make out the ringing of Gail's cell phone over the sounds of her own ragged breathes.

'Wha-Gail?' Holly shakes her head a little trying to clear her mind. God, what this women does to her.

'It's my mom.' Gail holds her phone up for Holly to see unable to keep her eyes from racking over the brunette's still exposed chest.

'We're late.' Holly says as the realisation dawns on her. The brunette looks at Gail and she can't help but giggle at the torn expression on her girlfriend's face. Holly pushes herself up from the sofa and saunters over to the blonde enjoying the way Gail's eyes remain fixated on her breasts. 'See something you like?' Holly asks as she wraps her arms around Gail's neck. The brunette takes a deep steadying breath as Gail's hand trail up the length of her rib cage ending in her thumbs brushing against the underside of Holly's breasts.

'Holly…' Gail says softly as she leans in to place a chaste kiss to Holly's bruised lips. 'You have the most amazing rack.' Holly pulls back in shock, mouth agape stunned into silence. Once she takes in the cheeky grin on Gail's face and the slightly glazed look in blue eyes her shock quickly transforms into laughter.

'Maybe next time I can see yours?' Holly husks.

'Absolutely.'

* * *

><p>Gail thinks this might be her favourite time of the year. The leaves on the trees are turning into a myriad of different colours. The air smells crisp and clear and the grass is beginning to crunch under foot. But the one thing Gail loves most about this time of year is her father's barbecues.<p>

Bill Peck has always been a big fan of the autumn barbecue. Gail has always enjoyed standing with her father as he fixes the meat and that's what she's doing now. They don't say much, they just enjoy each other's company. Gail was incredibly relieved when she and Holy arrived at her parent's house this afternoon to find that they weren't having the usual formal sit down three course meal. Instead everyone is stood outside with hot dogs and burgers cooking on the coals passing around the beers that sit in her father's cool box and Gail couldn't be happier about that.

Gail has always had a somewhat _problematic_ relationship with her mother. Gail knows that her mother loves her and that she wants the best for her but instead of being supportive and understanding Elaine tends to project disappointment and superiority when it comes to her thoughts on the current direction of the blonde's carer and personal life. Jeez, her personal life. Gail can't deny that she is a little anxious about how her mother will react when she inevitably finds out about the blonde's relationship with Holly. But as Gail stands beside her father watching her mother laugh and joke with Holly and Traci from the seats on the porch she can't help but hope that for once her mother will step up for her and prove her wrong. Gail hopes that Elaine will see how good Holly is for her and that she will therefore embrace their new relationship. If Elaine doesn't embrace it, if she reacts negatively and it comes down to a choice between her mom and Holly Gail knows who she'll choose

'Steve she's getting old. She can't handle your wrestling anymore.' Bills gruff voice shakes Gail from her inner musings and she follows her dad's gaze to where her brother is rolling around on the floor with their old family dog, a golden retriever called Rufus.

'She's fine.' Steve calls back but follows his father's implied instruction pushing himself up from the ground and dusting off his jeans. 'How's the meat coming along pops?' Steve asks as he amble over to them but Gail isn't interested in their conversation instead her gaze has shifted back to Holly like a magnetic pull.

Gail smiles softly to herself as Holly throws her head back and laughs at something that Traci is saying to her. Gail is surprised to notice even her mother is chuckling softly to herself. Gail licks her lips as her mind flashes back, once again, to their time together on Holly's sofa. Gail can feel the arousal building inside her again as she pictures Holly laid back on the sofa, shirt unbuttoned her glorious breasts on display. Gail feels her cheeks flush at the realisation that she's having these thoughts in the company of her parents.

Minutes pass and Gail continues to stare across the lawn at Holly occasionally humming in agreement when Steve or Bill direct a question at her. Gail's smile widens when Holly looks out across the garden and their gazes meet. Gail see's Holly bite at her bottom lip and look down at the bottle sitting between her hands in her lap but the blonde's gaze doesn't falter and she stands a little taller, a little prouder, when moments later Holly looks back at her and shyly tucks her hair behind her ear.

'So Holly dear,' Elaine's' voice breaks the spell that Holly is under and the brunette looks to the older women sat beside her not failing to see the smirk on Traci's face, _busted_. 'How's that lawyer of yours?'

Holly shifts uncomfortably in her seat and looks to Traci for support but the detective can only shrug her shoulders. 'Erm….we broke up.'

'Oh.' Elaine sits up a little straighter in the porch swing and Holly can see the gears turning in her head. 'Do you mind me asking why?'

Holly quickly looks back at Gail before answering and smiles softly when she finds the blonde laughing with her father and brother. 'We just weren't right for each other.' Holly offers as she looks back at Elaine hoping that answer will suffice and that the red head won't question her any further.

'Right. Well…good!' Elaine claps her hands together as Holly looks on bewildered sharing a confused look with Traci. 'She was always a little up tight if you ask me.' The irony isn't lost on Holly. 'Anyone else on the horizon?'

Holly squirms under Elaine's intense gaze. 'Not at the moment no.' The brunette squeaks out before taking a large gulp of her beer.

'Well anyone would be lucky to have you dear.' Elaine closes the space between them and gently squeezes Holly's forearm with her hand. 'Maybe you could look a little closer to home, you never know who's round the corner.' Holly furrows her brow, what is Elaine getting at?

'If you're trying to be stealth Gail it's not working?' Gail tears her gaze away from Holly and she turns to find her dad and Steve both eyeing her matching expressions of amusement on their faces. Gail looks at them both Poe faced trying to give the impression that she has no idea what they're talking about. 'Holly,' Bill says, 'you're staring.' Bill shakes his head at his daughter as he turns the burgers on the grill.

'I'm not staring.' Gail mummers her gaze automatically drifting back to Holly a little surprised to find the brunette looking back at her the pathologist's expression unreadable.

'You're definitely staring.' Steve nudges Gail with his shoulder.

'Jackass.' Gail directs at her brother. 'Look dad, I know what you're thinking and it's not like that-'

'But it is like that Gail. It's exactly what I'm thinking.' Bill interjects. 'You care for that women.' He states. 'You're my daughter Gail. I will love you no matter what.' Her father has always been a man of few words so hearing this from him, knowing that he accepts her, that he will accept her and Holly means the absolute world to her.

'What about mom?' Gail asks her voice cracking. They fight, they argue, they hurt each other because they don't always understand each other but Gail would love nothing more than for her mother to take her by surprise and embrace her relationship with Holly. Holly makes her so happy, she makes her feel alive and Gail wants to be able to share that with her mother.

Bill looks at his daughter a glint in his eye. 'She may just surprise you.' Gail hopes desperately that he's right. 'Right everyone burgers up!' Bill bellows across the garden catching the attentions of the women on the porch. 'Think about what I've said kiddo and just give your mother a chance.' He directs at Gail lowering his voice. Gail looks to Steve as he lifts his arm and wraps it around her shoulders placing a quick kiss to the top of her head.

Gail can't help but ponder her father's words. She doesn't want to keep her new relationship a secret, not really. Not if she's honest with herself. It would be easier to keep it a secret. There would be no questions from her friends, no digs from her colleagues, no having to explain herself. Why should she have to? Gail is proud to be with Holly, of all the people in the world that Holly could be with she's chosen to be with Gail. As Holly walks across the lawn towards her, that gorgeous lop sided grin stretched across her face, her eyes shining with mirth Gail knows that she can't keep Holly hidden in the dark. Gail would never want Holly to feel like her dirty little secret.

Holly is a beacon of light in Gail's life.

Their relationship shouldn't be kept in the shadows it should be free to fly up amongst the stars.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you all enjoy this.<strong>

**Sorry the updates are a little slower now, it's that busy time of term.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Now or Never

**Author:** dagnabit87

**Show:** Rookie Blue

**Pairing:** Gaily/Holly

**Rating:** Pg-13/T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.

**Now or Never**

**Chapter Eight**

'I need sex.' Traci's eyes widen her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline as she puffs out her cheeks. This is the last thing she would ever expect to hear from Gail Peck. The blonde isn't exactly a sharer so having her arrive in her office, plonk herself down in the chair opposite her desk and divulge that sort of information is completely unexpected.

'Okay.' Traci drawls out as she puts down her pen and closes the case file in front of her. 'Anything else to add?' Traci asks as Gail pulls out a half-eaten packet of cheesy puffs from her jacket pocket and begins to unceremoniously stuff them into her mouth.

'Nah.' Gail says shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly but steadfast refusing to make eye contact with the detective. 'So what are you up to today? Any good cases you could use any help with?' Traci shakes her head trying to understand what the hell's going on. Gail has always been reliably unpredictable and today the blonde appears to be suffering from an extreme case of 'pin ball brain.'

'No cases, sorry.' Traci leans forward resting her forearms on the desk as she watches Gail closely, she's no longer placing the crisps into her mouth she's now just appears to be throwing them in the general vicinity hoping that they reach their target. The detective smirks when one cheesy puff misses its target and hits the blonde on the chin tumbling to the floor. Traci allows her gaze to wander. Gail's knee is bouncing haphazardly up and down, she gnaws at her bottom lip with some ferocity and her face is twisted into an uncomfortable grimace. The last thing is pretty usual for Gail but when mixed with the other two tell-tale signs of frustration or anxiety Traci can see that there is clearly something wrong. 'So….about this sex that you need…'

'It doesn't matter.' Gail throws her hand up flippantly. 'Forget I said anything.'

'Right.' Traci sits back in her seat and waits for Gail to make her next move. The seconds tick by and the level of intensity in the room grows as Gail continues to look around the detective's office picking up the odds and ends that litter Traci's desk as she inspects them closely. 'If you need to talk you know I'm here right Gail?' Traci finally breaks when she realises that Gail isn't going to.

'I know.' Gail shrugs. 'But that's not why I'm here.' Blue eyes finally meet brown and Traci fights to hold in the smirk that's threatening to break free. _So this is what a sexually frustrated Gail looks like._

'So then why are you here?' Traci pushes a little. 'Because as much as I'm enjoying this uncomfortable silence if you don't need me then I'm kind of busy….'

'Oh fine then.' Gail throws her arms up in the air dramatically signalling her defeat. 'You got me. I'm frustrated, Nash!'

Traci internally pats herself on the back for knowing exactly which buttons to press to get Gail to fold. 'Frustrated?'

'Yes, frustrated.' Gail grips the arms of the chair tightly her knuckles turning white under the pressure. 'Have you seen my girlfriend? She's gorgeous. She's got this movie star hair and that smile, God her smile is just…' Gail trails off.

'And her legs.' Traci teases. 'Don't forget the legs.'

'How could I forget the legs?' Gail sighs in irritation as she looks at Traci her expression the epitome of frustration. 'What I wouldn't give to have those legs wrapped around my waist.' The blonde's eyes glaze over as her mind drifts off into Holly land and Traci begins to feel a little uncomfortable.

'You okay Gail?' Traci asks as the blonde falls into a trance.

'Shit sorry, got distracted.' Gail's says her cheeks tinged with a red glow. 'Holly is so beautiful. I mean you've seen her.' Traci nods in affirmation. 'No one wears a dress like she does. But you should see what's going on underneath the dress.' Traci's eyes widen in panic. 'She has this purple bra that-'

'Okay stop!' Traci commands holding her palm up in front of her stopping Gail in her tracks. 'You know I'm happy to help you with anything Peck but sometimes people can over share and this,' she signals between the two of them, 'is the definition of an overshare.'

'Sorry.' Gail mutters realising that she has gone into overdrive and that Traci's right. There are some things that you don't need to share with your friend stroke brother's girlfriend type person and how magnificent your own girlfriend looks in her purple bra is one of those things.

'So you have a hot girlfriend.' Traci informs Gail who proceeds to give the detective a 'duh' look. 'You're hot.' Traci says waving her hand in the air in a blasé fashion. 'So what's the problem?'

Gail huffs. 'I don't want to rush things with her.' The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and fore finger before looking back at Traci. 'It's really, really hard.'

'So you haven't done anything?' Traci asks dumbfounded. Gail isn't an overtly sexual person but in the time that Traci has known her Gail has always been somebody who went for what she wanted.

'Second base.'

'I don't get you two.' Traci leans forward in her chair surprised smile etched across her features.

'Continue.'

'You two have been dancing around each other for what? Like a year now.' Traci's exasperation is clear to see.

'I need to do this right, Trace.' Gail tries hopelessly to reason. 'But, I want to be with her so much.'

'Does Holly want to wait as well?' Traci asks rolling her eyes when Gail shakes her head. 'So go for it!'

'Traci!' Gail shrieks.

'I'm serious. Go and get your end away.' Gail falls about laughing at Traci's words. 'I'm serious. Go! You have a gorgeous women and anyone with eyes can see how much she wants you and instead of tracking her down and making a move you're sat here talking to me.' Traci says in disbelief. 'You're crazy Peck.'

'Alright, alright!' Gail laughs as she gets up from her seat smiling widely. 'Thanks for your invaluable advice as always sister in-law.'

'Get out of my office.' Traci retorts throwing a pencil at Gail hitting her square in the chest and threatening to throw a second when it appears that Gail is going to loiter in her doorway. 'Go and don't darken my doorway again. Oh and come clean to your mother about Holly she keeps asking me cryptic questions about you two.' Gail rolls her eyes not offering a response.

As Gail makes her way along the corridor leading her from the detective's offices towards the main precinct Gail gets an idea in her head that she just can't shake. She's officially off the clock and knows that Holly isn't for another three hours. Gail thinks about stopping by her mom's office but decides quickly that Elaine can wait.

Now Holly, she can't wait.

* * *

><p>Gail tiptoes along the corridor leading to Holly's lab at the morgue, the last thing she wants is to be spotted by any of Holly's old, doddery colleagues and get pulled into yet another boring lecture about the different stages of rigor mortis. Gail doesn't understand why but she must have one of those faces that make people want to talk to her or at least makes people think she wants to talk to them. Listening to an aging, decrepit man talk about rigor mortis has a certain sense of irony to it. Holly on the other hand, Gail could listen to Holly talk about rigor mortis all day long, the way her face lights up as she talks about it, how she gesticulates wildly the more excited she gets, it's adorable and Gail could honestly sit and listen to her all day long.<p>

'Good evening Officer Peck.' _Oh shit. _Gail rolls her eyes her chin falling to her chest. She's been caught. 'What are you doing sneaking around here at this time, looking for Doctor Stewart?' Gail turns on her heal and plasters the most convincing smile on her face that she can.

'Hi Bert.' Gail says. 'Sorry, I mean Doctor Roberts.' The blonde corrects herself because if there's one positive thing that she has learnt from her mother it's that you respect your elders and Gail does just that, mostly. 'Is Doctor Stewart here?' Gail asks signalling to the lab behind her.

'She finished up in the lab a couple of hours ago.' Bert informs the police officer. 'We see you around here quite a lot these days officer Peck.' The older gentleman says what should be a question as if it's a statement.

'Yea, I have. Evidence and stuff.' Gail struggles to meet Bert's eyes. Gail has always found it difficult to lie to someone of Bert's age and temperament. He reminds her of her grandfather. 'You know those pesky detectives always wanting their evidence as quickly as possible. No rest for the wicked.' Bert looks at Gail with a glint of something in his eye that she can't quite place.

'Something important you have for our Doctor Stewart today then?' Gail nods as she stuffs her hands into her pockets and rocks back on her heels. 'She's in her office.' Gail breathes an internal sigh of relief. Quickly offering her gratitude Gail rushes past Bert and heads towards the staircase not missing the quiet, gruff laughter that follows her as she retreats along the corridor. Gail rolls her eyes at her inability to talk in anything other than gibberish these days. Traci's right, she should announce her relationship with Holly to the world, clearly everyone knows anyway, even bloody Bert, that way she won't get caught up in all of these semi awkward situations anymore.

Gail takes the steps two at a time. She can't get to Holly's office quick enough. As she makes her way along the pristine corridor she can't get over how quiet it is here. It's always so loud at fifteen, there's a buzz in the air, it's intense but here it's calm and Gail likes it this way. She passes numerous offices all with their doors closed and Gail takes that as a good sign. The blonde doesn't pick up on any movement as she passes the nerd's lunch room and she becomes increasingly hopeful that she will find Holly all alone.

As Gail nears the brunette's office at the end of the hallway, an office she's only frequented once or twice before, the blonde realises that she hasn't come up with much of a plan for what's about to transpire her idea's pretty simple in its premise, seduce Holly, she hasn't given the execution must thought at all. Holly's door is slightly ajar, soft light radiating through the gap and Gail can make out the gentle beat of some instrumental group, the sort of thing that Holly says helps her concentrate. Gail comes to a standstill at the entrance to the office and lifts her hand to the door handle grasping it gently, taking a couple of deep calming breathes to steady her nerves and for a moment she allows herself to consider how crazy this all is, Holly's at work, maybe this is a bad idea maybe-

'Is somebody there?' Gail jumps in her place as the sound of Holly's dulcet tones float through the small gap in the door and settle inside her ears. 'Jen?'

Realising that there's no turning back Gail pushes the door open and takes a tentative step inside, the sight that she's met with warms her heart from the inside out. 'Hey beautiful.' Gail smiles. Holly is sat behind her desk, her glasses perched on the tip of her nose, one pen tucked behind her ear and another hanging idly in her left hand as she sits, shoulders hunched forwards over the piles of paper that littler her desk. 'You busy?'

Holly smiles when she's sees who is standing in her office doorway but that smile quickly transforms into a grimace when the tell-tale signs of a headache begin to set in. 'This double homicide case is kicking my ass.' Holly sighs as she slumps back in her seat dropping the pen onto her desk. Closing her eyes for a moment Holly allows herself to take a moment to get herself together. Gail watches the brunette as she sits there eyes closed basking in this moment of relaxation. Gail doesn't move from her spot leaning against the door frame maintaining her silence as Holly's eyes flutter open and meet her gaze. 'Hey.' The brunette whispers.

'Hey.' Gail smiles as Holly pushes herself up from her seat and weaves around her desk. The blonde moves to meet her in the middle of the room. Holly welcomes Gail's embrace basking in the feel of the blonde's deceptively strong arms wrapping round her waist and holding her close. Holly's arms circle the blonde's neck and she presses her nose into Gail's neck inhaling deeply.

'God, it's so good to see you.' Holly sighs as the blonde's scent engulfs her. Immediately the tension in her shoulders begins to dissipate and the head ache that was beginning to take up residence in her temple ebbs away, not completely but just enough that it isn't the only thing she can focus on. Holly lets out a heavy breath she didn't know she was holding. Just having the blonde close, having her girlfriend close is causing all of the stress to melt away and Holly relaxes even further into the embrace, having Gail hold her like this is exactly what she needs after the day she's had.

'You okay? Gail asks, her lips brushing against Holly's ear.

'Better for seeing you.' Gail tightens her hold on the brunette at Holly's sweet words warm her heart. She's never had someone say these sorts of things to her before, she's never felt integral to another person's happiness before. Gail knows that she's vital to Holly's happiness, the brunette has told her as much, and Gail feels such a sense of pride at being entrusted with Holly's happiness. Gail presses a soft kiss to Holly's hairline and placed her fingers beneath the brunette's chin that rests against her chest. Gail lifts Holly's chin with a gentle pressure until their eyes meet. 'To what do I owe this visit then?' Holly asks. 'I thought I was going to meet you at my place after my shift.' Gail flushes violently at Holly's query. 'What is it?' The brunette presses on as Gail rubs nervously at the back of her neck. 'What's going on?' Gail's eyes fall to Holly's lips and linger their before flitting up to meet her intense gaze again, her hands gently squeezing lithe hips and that's when the realisation dawns on Holly. 'Oh…' The brunette trails off. 'Really?' Holly asks and Gail misinterprets her surprise for discomfort.

'Sorry.' Gail takes an anxious step back putting a little distance between them. 'It was a stupid idea, I don't know what I was thinking. I just…' Gail trails off as her hands fall limply to her sides. 'I just had this sudden urge.' Holly stands in silence as Gail speaks. 'I just want you Holly.' Gail looks at Holly her eyes glistening.

Holly says nothing and Gail feels the panic begin to set in. The brunette turns to switch on her desk lamp not uttering a word, seemingly untouched by Gail's confession, the blonde's eyes furrowing in confusion unable to work out what Holly's thinking and that's what scares Gail, she's usually so good at reading the pathologist. Holly then rounds the blonde and walks towards the door. Gail's heart begins to pound violently. Is Holly leaving? Gail hears the twist of the lock as she stares at the back of the brunette's head. Holly flicks off the main light and then turns back to face Gail. The brunette's breath catches in her throat as she is met with the vision of blonde illuminated by the soft lighting being projected by her desk lamp.

'Holly.' Gail whispers as the brunette closes the distance between them grabbing a handful of the blonde's jacket pulling her close. 'Are you sure you want to do this here?'

'Just kiss me.' Holly pleads as she pulls back a fraction noticing that Gail's eyes have turned a shade darker. A second later they are kissing, they are kissing hard and full. Gail's hand comes up to fist Holly's hair the brunette's tongue thrusting into her a mouth as whimper tumbles from her lips. Lifting her hands from Gail's waist Holly pushes the blonde's jacket over her shoulders taking great pleasure in the sound of the heavy black material hitting her office floor. Holly makes quick work of the blonde's shirt a surge of arousal coursing through her as the blonde grips the bottom of her jumper. Holly holds her arms up allowing the blonde to rip the offending garment over her head and throw it carelessly behind them.

Holly pulls at the button of Gail's pants and slides down the zipper ready to slip her hand in side but Gail's next words stop her in her tracks. 'Desk. Now.' Gail spins them round on the spot and guides Holly's back until the brunette makes contact with the desk. To overcome with arousal to care Gail reaches around the brunette and swipes the paper from the desk. Eliciting an excited yelp from the brunette Gail grips strong thighs and helps Holly hop up onto the desk. The brunette opens her legs welcoming the blonde between them. Gail grips the brunette's thighs and pulls Holly right to the edge of the desk thrusting her own thigh in between those glorious legs pressing firmly into Holly's core eliciting a wanton moan from those delicious lips.

Holly whimpers loudly and arches into Gail's touch as the blonde's lips press open mouthed kisses to every inch of skin she can reach. Gail quickly becomes frustrated that she can't feel enough of the brunette's heated flesh and rips Holly's shirt open buttons flying in every direction. 'I like this shirt.' Holly utters between moans.

'I'll buy you a new one.' The blonde quips as she presses her lips to Holly's perfectly bronzed shoulder.

'You better.' Holly hisses. The brunette grips the top of Gail's pants that now hang open at her waist. The brunette begins to push the blonde's pants down over porcelain hips, as soon as brown eyes spot the deep red underwear that cover Gail's heat her hands begin to fumble, her arousal increasing exponentially. 'Take them off.' Holly begs, her voice now gruff with arousal. Gail complies and wriggles out of her trousers twisting and turning until they land on the floor around her ankles. Gail grabs at heaving breasts as Holly dips her fingertips beneath the top of Gail's underwear her fingers itching to make contact with the blonde's liquid heat she-

'Holly. Holly you in there?' A loud rapping at the door causes Holly to fumble due to the unexpected arrival.

Brown eyes meet blue, wide with surprise and Holly doesn't miss the shock in Gail's eyes. 'Shit.' Holly hisses.

'There was no one else around when I got here.' Gail pulls away from Holly and starts pulling up her pants, the brunette immediately missing her warmth.

'Holly I can see your light on. Are you okay?' Jen calls through the door twisting the door handle and as Holly stands there, shirt off, clad in only her bra, she has never felt more relieved than she does in this moment that she locked the door when Gail first arrived.

'I'm coming!' Holly shouts back cringing when she sees the smug look on Gail's face. 'Hush you.' She whispers. Taking a moment to quickly pull on her sweater Holly then bends down to pick up her discarded papers and Gail re buttons her shirt before pulling her jacket back on. The brunette internally sighs in disappointment. Was she ever going to get a look at, what Holly is sure will be, magnificent breasts?

Taking one last quick look around the room making sure that everything is in order Holly reaches out for the door handle. 'Wait.' Gail says softly as she steps right up close to Holly and places a soft, barely their kiss on her lips. Giving herself a moment to regain her composure Holly then opens the door to be met with the concerned expression of her colleague and friend, Jen.

'Holly are you-' Jen begins once she catches sight of Holly but her attention is quickly diverted when the door creeps open a little further to reveal a familiar platinum blonde police officer and immediately her expression shifts from one of concern and confusion to that of surprise and mildly impressed. 'Well, well, well Doctor Stewart no wonder you had your door locked.' Holly stares at Jen mouth open like a goldfish, she and Gail are both busted and she knows there's no way out of this she's just glad that it's Jen who's caught them and not her boss.

'I was bringing her some evidence.' Gail says shrugging her shoulders giving off an air on nonchalance but inside she kept help but feel incredibly disappointed.

'Of course you were.' Jen drawls her gaze flitting between Gail and Holly. The red head steps aside and allows Gail to pass, the blonde making a concerted effort to avoid eye contact with Holly otherwise she'll give the game away completely even though she's fairly certain a blind, deaf and dumb person could work out what they've been up to it written all over both of their faces.

'See you round Doctor Stewart.' Gail says trying to keep things as professional as possible under these incredibly awkward circumstance.

'I'm sure you will.' Jen scoffs as Holly steps back to let her in but keeps her eyes firmly planted on Gail's retreating form.

'Suck it Jen.' Gail calls flipping the bird over her shoulder. Jen can't help but laugh as she attempts to adorn a look of mock offense directed at the feisty blonde. She and Holly remain in the doorway until Gail is out of sight and Jen looks to Holly, head resting against the doorframe, mortified expression firmly in place.

'I like her.' Jen says nodding down the hallway in the direction that Gail has just escaped as she sidles past the brunette.

'Me too.' Holly whispers into the empty hallway.

* * *

><p>Gail had waited patiently in the morgue parking lot until the end of Holly's shift. It was getting really cold out and Gail knows that if she'd asked Holly would have lent her a key and she could have taken herself to the brunette's place and into the warm but Gail didn't do that. The blonde was to horrified to go back up to Holly's office to get said key just in case Jen was still there so instead Gail had perched herself on the hood of Holly's car and waited the two hours and thirteen minutes for the brunette to emerge from the main entrance to take them both home. The blonde had contemplated calling it a night after the first hour, seriously concerned that Holly would be too ashamed that they'd been caught in the almost act and would rather go home alone, Gail-less.<p>

Those nagging anxieties where quickly quashed when Holly had emerged from the building her eyes immediately falling to the blonde leaning against her car and the smile that Gail was greeted with turned her insides to a giant ball of gooey mush. Holly was smiling that smile that Gail loves so much, the one that signals that the brunette is truly overjoyed. She was overjoyed to see Gail. The blonde had pushed herself up to standing and made her way around to the passenger side door no questions asked letting herself in as soon as Holly unlocked the door. They had travelled back to the brunette's place in a comfortable silence Gail's hand resting against the brunette's thigh as Holly concentrated on the road, heavy rain had begun to fall and as difficult as it had been Holly didn't let herself become distracted by the warm sensation that Gail's touch had ignited.

Now they're sat together in the kitchen picking at some left over Chinese food talking happily about their days and making plans for the next couple of weeks. The one thing they aren't talking about is the giant elephant in the room. They aren't talking about what happened, or nearly happened much to Holly's chagrin, barely three hours ago.

Unbeknownst to Holly, Gail can't stop thinking about what happened earlier in the evening either, in all honesty all Gail can think about is touching Holly, kissing Holly…taking Holly. Against the fridge, the back of the sofa on top of the breakfast bar.

'So what do you prefer,' Holly starts gaining Gail attention, 'hot Chinese or cold Chinese?'

Gail looks up from her chow mein grateful for the distraction. 'I think cold, don't know why. Maybe there's more flavour.' Gail shrugs. 'I don't know. I think you can taste it better when it's cold.' As Holly listens to Gail ramble on about the pros of cold Chinese food it occurs to her that perhaps Gail to is a little anxious about what this evening will hold. Realising that she isn't the only one who's feeling the nerves actually gives Holly a surge of confidence and helps her make up her mind. They can spend all night dancing around each other but they've already spent the last year doing that. Holly's done with fore play, she wants the real deal and the real deal is sat in front of her talking about water chestnuts like they're the second coming.

'It can wait then.' Holly says as she gets up from her stool at the breakfast bar. 'The Chinese food.' Holly explains quelling Gail's confusion.

Gail suddenly becomes hyper aware of Holly's close proximity. 'The food can,' Gail clears her throat suddenly getting a serious case of dry mouth, 'it can wait.'

'It can wait.' Holly reiterates. 'Gail we nearly had sex in my office and it's all I can think about.' Gail audibly gulps as Holly steps even closer to the blonde parting the police officers legs with her hands as she comes to stand between them bringing her arms to rest loosely around Gail's shoulders.

'I-I-erm…' Gail can't find the words all she can focus on is the sexy look in those brown eyes and the way her fingertips tingle at Holly's closeness, some things never change. 'It's time?'

'It's time.' Holly's voice has taken on a seductive tone and Gail can't help but tilt her chin upwards and catch Holly's lips in a kiss so soft and so full of promise that it makes Holly's breath catch in her throat. The blonde's hands rest gently against Holly's cheeks as their kiss deepens and the brunette's tongue begs for entrance. Gail's hands drop from Holly's hips as she stand up never breaking their kiss and allows her hands to roam along the length of the brunette's back.

This is finally their moment, there are no distractions here, It's just the two of them. They've got nowhere to be but here with each other, laid bare, finally. Holly sighs into their kisses as strong hands roam from her hips up to her shoulders and back again. Gail has never felt anticipation like this before, not for anything or anyone and as Holly drags her lips to the curve of the blonde's jaw Gail is certain that she's died and gone to heaven.

'Take me upstairs.' Gail whispers into the charged air that surrounds them. Holly feels her heart twist inside her chest, it is a demand not a question and it makes Holly's knees go weak. Not wanting to waste another second Holly untangles herself from Gail and grabs the blonde's trembling hand, the only sign that Gail is feeling the intensity of the moment, and drags her upstairs to her bedroom.

Holly pulls Gail into her bedroom and closes the door with her foot. The only sound that can be heard is their heavy breathing. Holly spins them round so that Gail is pressed back against the door. Holly mirrors her actions from earlier but this time she is only met with Gail's skin tight black t-shirt, relieved that Gail removed her coat and shirt upon arrival at the brunette's home. Not wanting to waste any more time Gail reaches down and pulls her top over her head throwing it blindly across the room not caring where it lands.

Holly allows herself a second to take in the newly exposed flesh on display before her. _Red. _Holly has never seen this much of Gail before and her perfectly sized breasts encased in that red bra are a sight to behold. Twisting them around again, taking the blonde by surprise, Holly leads Gail backwards until the backs of her knees hit the bed and she is unceremoniously pushed down onto Holly's plush bed. Gail can only lay there and watch as Holly removes her jumper. The blonde only gets to enjoy the brunette's black push up bra or a few sweet but short seconds before that too is gone. Gail reaches out for Holly her heart pounding wildly in her chest as the brunette places her hand in Gail's and allows the blonde to pull her down onto the bed. Holly braces her forearm on either side of Gail's head holding herself up, this spark between them is undeniable, the energy between the is so charged it's all consuming.

Gail slides backwards across the bed until her head is resting against the pillows, Holly watches unmoving as Gail reaches behind her back and unsnaps her bra. 'You just going to watch?' Gail asks seductively as Holly scrambles up the bed and carefully draws the bra straps over shoulders and down the length of Gail's arms before dropping it over the side of the bed. Holly licks her lips unable to contain her desperate desire to reach out and, finally, touch Gail's perfectly sculptured chest. Brown eyes roam across Gail's torso unable to decide where to touch first. Luckily Gail makes the decision for her. The police officer's hands twist into brown locks as she tugs Holly towards her. Holly begins placing open mouthed kisses along the valley between Gail's breasts and down to her stomach stopping to dip her tongue into the blonde's belly button. Holly trails her lips along the soft skin that resides below the blonde's belly button until she meets the barrier of the blonde's uniform trousers. Not waiting to ask for or to be given permission Holly unsnaps the button and drags the zipper down slowly, seductively, her eyes trained on hooded blue orbs as the blonde rests back on her forearms watching Holly's actions in desperate anticipation.

Gripping the fabric of Gail's trousers and her underwear simultaneously the brunette begins to slowly drag it down. Gail lifts her hips allowing Holly to pull the material down the length of her legs all the while their eyes remain locked in an intense gaze. Once Gail is divested of her clothes and lays completely naked in front of the brunette for the very first time Holly is overcome with a pure need that she has never experienced before, she wants to touch and taste every inch of the blonde. She will. 'You're so beautiful Gail.' Holly husks as Gail smiles up at her from beneath long lashes. Holly slips from the bed to flick on the bedside lamp creating a golden hew around them. Perfect.

'Take them off.' Gail pleads, her voice catching in her throat. Holly does as she's told and Gail is hypnotised by the movement of Holly's hands as the brunette fumbles with her own trousers. Gail's thighs involuntarily clench together as Holly slowly pulls her jeans and underwear down over protruding hip bones that Gail can't wait to sink her teeth into, slowly, teasingly. Gail can't decide what she wants more, to be able to lay here and just look, bask in Holly's perfection or to touch.

Holly slowly crawls back up the length of Gail's body her hair grazing along sensitive skin littering it with goose bumps. Gail's breathing deepens further still like she's going to explode. Holly waits until her eyes are level with Gail's before lowing herself down. 'Oh.' Gail hisses arching up into the brunette's searing touch. Holly grips the blonde's biceps lifting her arms up above her head and holds them there. Never before has Gail felt so wonderfully vulnerable. Gail throws her head back against the pillows as Holly releases her hold on her arms and ghosts her thumb across the blonde's nipple. The blonde's eyes that were once tightly closed fly open as Holly's warm, wet mouth wraps around her breast and that's when it all hits home. Gail is in bed with Holly, she is overcome by the most incredible state of arousal and as Holly's tongue flicks across her nipple Gail realises that this could be the greatest moment of her life. This moment, right here, right now. Holly's thigh drifts between Gail's legs applying a gentle pressure to the blondes' heated centre. Gail moans at the contact. Holly feels herself becoming light headed as the wetness between the blonde's legs makes contact with her own thigh.

In past relationships Gail has always been the more dominant participant when it came to sex, she always liked to feel like she was in control. But as Holly's weight presses down on top of her and the brunette's lips turn their attention to her other nipple Gail has no desire to turn the tables, she loves that she is in the more submissive position, that Holly is the one exerting her control over the blonde. In fact, Gail feels even more aroused now. As Holly lifts herself up onto her forearms her eyes meeting Gail's she begins to rock her thigh back and forth against Gail's centre. Their noses occasionally bump together as their lips press together in a kiss. It's hot, it's messy, sometimes they miss each other but it's perfect none the less.

Holly shifts her body down so that her face is level with the flat, smooth plane of Gail's stomach. 'Can I?' Holly asks as she circles Gail's hip bone with her thumb leaving goose bumps in her wake. Gail looks into brown eyes, the image of the brunette resting over her so close to her pulsating core sends a rush of arousal and adrenaline coursing through her body her hips involuntarily roll upwards seeking out any form of contact. Gail has lost all control of her body as Holly plays her like a finely tuned instrument.

'Please.' Gail whispers spotting something new in Holly's eyes, a look, reverence, adoration, maybe something more. Unbeknownst to Holly, Gail has never allowed anyone else to go down on her before. The blonde loves sex, she thinks she's pretty good at it but there's something incredibly intimate about letting someone put their mouth on you and bring you to pleasure in that way, at least that's what Gail believes, so letting Holly do this during their first time together is a massive gift that Holly doesn't even know she's receiving.

Holly wriggles further down the bed parting Gail's thighs with her hands and settling herself between the blonde's legs. Holly can't help but place her palms on Gail's inner thighs and gently run her hand back and forth mesmerised by the perfect alabaster skin and its inconceivable softness her heart churning as Gail's things languidly part even further. Holly hears Gail's breath hitch as she presses her lips to smooth skin allowing her tongue to flicker against it and taste. 'Holly.' Gail whimpers at the contact her hips rolling again but this time more violently.

Unable to hold back anymore especially when Gail's voice sounds like this, craving, wanting, Holly finally leans in and runs her tongue along the length of Gail's core, parting her folds. The taste is like nothing that Holly has ever experienced before. It's exquisite. Gail lays there grasping at the cotton sheets when it hits her how natural this feels, how right it feels and when Holly goes one step further and takes hold of one of Gail's hand with her own, their eyes meeting at the contact Gail knows that this is forever. They are forever.

Holly feels Gail's body reacting to her touch, the soft whimpers letting the brunette know exactly what Gail likes. But it's the long drawn out moan that explodes from deep within Gail when Holly finally takes the blonde's swollen clit into her mouth and sucks that leads to Holly subconsciously thrusting her hips into the bed beneath her, her own arousal peaking. 'Shit Holly, don't stop. Please don't stop.'

'I won't.' Holly smirks as she pulls away for only a second to blow cold air onto Gail's glistening folds causing the blonde's back to arch and bow again.

'Fuck.' Gail shouts as Holly inserts a singles finger into the blonde's liquid heat. The blonde grips the back of Holly's head and pulls gently. 'I want you up here. With me.' Gail pleads. Placing one last kiss to Gail's thigh Holly scrambles up the bed keeping her finger firmly inside.

'I'm here.' Holly whispers kissing Gail's chin. The blonde's head is still thrown backwards as her hips begin to roll in a sensual motion desperate for Holly to delve deeper. Gail's hand releases the sheet from its vice like grip and she clutches at Holly's bicep as the brunette adds a second finger as she thrusts inside the blonde her motions smooth and precise, all encompassing.

'Holly. I love….oh Holly.' Gail's beside herself her words coming out in jumbled messy whispers. Holly's heart soars, certain that Gail was about to confess the depths of her feelings but to distracted, too lost in her physical feelings to get the words out.

'I know baby, I know.' Holly whispers her own body moving in tandem with her hand as she grinds down onto the blonde's thigh desperate for any kind of contact. Holly feels Gail clench around her fingers, knowing that the blonde is close and not wanting to make her wait, Holly brushes against Gail's throbbing clit in small tight circles with the tip of her thumb. 'Let go. I've got you.' Holly slips her hand beneath Gail's neck wrapping her arm around the blonde's shoulder pulling her close.

'Holly, Holly, Holly.' Gail chants. The sound of her name on the blonde's lips elicits a cacophony of emotions within Holly's heart. Gail's fingernails dig into Holly's bicep as a wave of pleasure engulfs her warming her entirely from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. 'Oh God!' Holly continues to slowly thrust her fingers inside her girlfriend helping the blonde to ride out her orgasm. Gail lets out a shuddering breath, her body convulsing as a small aftershock ripples through her body. Holly eases her fingers from Gail's core bringing her hand up to cup the blonde's hip.

Holly waits patiently as Gail lays in silence taking deep breathes in and out, a sheen of sweet covering her body. Eyelids finally flutter open and Holly feels her heart stop as warm blue eyes connect with her. 'You're amazing.' Holly says tears building in her eyes the emotion of this moment almost overwhelming her.

Gail brushes her fingertips soothingly along olive skin from Holly's hairline to the bottom of her jaw, the look being radiated from blue eyes can be mistaken for nothing but love. Holly knows in this moment that Gail does truly love her, she can see it written all over the blonde's face and she heard it from those perfect lips. Almost. 'This is what's been missing all my life.' Gail says adoringly. Holly leans down and rubs the tip of her nose against Gail's before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, words aren't necessary. Gail allows herself to bask in the afterglow content to finally be in this moment with Holly, to be sharing this glorious moment with Holly.

The blonde shifts in Holly's embrace wanting to get as close as humanly possible. 'Oh, Gail.' Holly sighs her face contorting in pleasure. Gail eyes widen as she realises that her movements have forced her thigh more tightly against Holly's core that's now dripping with arousal. Nothing has ever turned the brunette on more than watching Gail's face contort in pleasure as the blonde orgasms especially knowing that, that orgasm has been brought on by Holly herself.

Not wanting the brunette to have to wait a moment longer for her own blessed release Gail uses the skills she's picked up as a police officer. Wrapping her legs around Holly's waist Gail uses her strength to flip them over so that she now rests on top. Holly's girlish squeals are music to Gail's ears. 'My turn doctor.' Gail purrs.

'I'm all yours officer.' Holly says swooning at the mischievous look on Gail's face. Holly adores it when Gail's blues eyes light up like this.

When they sparkle.

* * *

><p><strong>Ahhhh *shifts in seat nervously*<strong>

**This is my first time writing anything on the 'saucy' side. I hope I've done it justice...**


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